A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i know this is going to make me sound really bad, and i am really upset about this which is why this is the only confidential thing i could think of for advice,well a month ago i had a threesome with 2 guys, i was really drunk and i know theres no excuse for my behaviour, but i really wasnt thinking of the consequences at the time ;'(well now i think i mite be pregnant because im late, both of them did not use condoms and the worst thing is that their both in relationships and have a child each,i know i've been really stupid but i dont know what 2 do please help me i think about what i had done everyday over the last month and hate myself for it but i carnt go bk in time to change things so i just need to know what to do now :(x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): Hey girlfriend, my heart goes out to you in all area's. Do not knock yourself about the 3some, it has only been highlighted because you are pregnant and to be god honest, there are so many women that do private things out there that if you knew either them and or their antic's then you would surely feel better. About the pregnacy. Have the child regardless and make aplan with how to move forward. I have been trying to get pregnant for years and lost my first child. Therefore, be grateful that your first child came this way, as this child might be your first and your last. With regards to the guys, well, the answer honestly depends on what and or if they feel anythign about you, their other relationship and their children and you do not know who exactly the father is. Paternity test just for your own self satisfaction, as least they both know why you are not sure who the father is. Therefore get that muck out of your mind. You treasure what you have, as it is only the 'situation', not the child that is bringing you down and not knowing who the father is. Make a good plan and move forward. Let the men work themselves out if that is an option for you. You are still a decent woman. Well done with being adventerious. Now do so with and for your child.
A
female
reader, asdfjkl;  +, writes (2 December 2009):
tough spot you are in. i don't think you are bad ..
The nearest std, birth control or health clinic will help you out.
I guess it is obvious now but ... next time you try something like this you might want to go esay on the alcohol, use comdoms, pick guys who use comdoms.... and... if something goes wrong - take a morning after pill. LOOK after #1... FIRST.
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A
female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (1 December 2009):
Oh Dear oh dear. You've already been given some very useful advice from 2 very astute aunties. Just my duty to put forward the UK point of view.
If your period is late ,do a home preganacy test ASAP. They are fairly accurate and you can get them off the shelf at any chemist or supermarket. Go for the most expensive one with 2 tests in. You should repeat the test in 3 - 5 days if the 1st one is negative and your period still hasn't arrived. If your period still isn't due, wait until the 1st day that it's late (too much risk of false negative results if you do them too early) If you can't wait that long go to your G.P for a blood test. If you are pregnant go to the GP ASAP to discuss your options.
You must get tested for all STD's at you local GUM clinic. These men may both well have repeated this behaviour many times without protection. Go to your local council's webpage and click on the "Health" links or try googling "GUM clinic" + your local area or "CASH" + your local area. Clinic are normally held in varying locations around the area and some have dedicated young persons clinics. They are free and totally confidential (not even your GP gets to know). Many have walk-in policies (no appointment needed) and operate in the evening too. So there's no excuse - this is really important. No need to wait for the GUM clinic and they may be able to advise you about pregnancy testing too (Contraception clinics are often run in the same places)
Always carry condoms with you and remember the morning after pill is available free from emergency clinics and GPs 72 hours after unprotected sex. A coil can be inserted up to 5 days later to prevent a pregnancy.
Good luck and please ask if you need some more information
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Get yourself to a doctor as soon as you can. They won't judge you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Contact your gynecologist first thing tomorrow for a thorough check: you need to be examined for STIs as well as take a pregnancy test. After that, if it turns out you are pregnant, then you can figure out how to tell them, and figure out what your next step.
But first things first. Your health needs looking after, as you've potentially been exposed to sexually transmitted infections that might lead to future health problems.
Doctor, ASAP!
You can also discuss your problem with alcohol with him or her and see what can be done to help you there as well.
Take care.
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