A
female
age
30-35,
*ucy K
writes:I'm 17 and just started going out a few with one of my friend's brothers - Who is 14. He hasn't told anyone as far as I know, and I've just told two very close friends, (neither his sister) but it's not really because we're ashamed of each other or anything - It's because a, it's early days, and b, we're a little worried what his family will say about the age gap.I've known him a few years, because of my friend of course, and I've always had fun hanging out with him, etc... though I only started getting a crush on him in the past year.I didn't know what he thought though, and never would have made the first move - I'm actually a virgin, and am very shy when it comes to relationships. But he admitted to me on Sunday on the phone that he really liked me and he made the first move - He's a virgin too and never had a girlfriend either, so we're on pretty even territory - except the age diff of course.I'm a little worried about what his parents - Especially his mother will think though, that I'm trying to steal her baby and have sex with him or something (his mother is very...highly strung, to put it politly, though I do understand her possible concerns in this respect).But I've been thinking about this and I'm not looking for sex, and I don't think he is either, though I'm seeing him tomorrow and I have butterflies in my stomach about the first kiss - The good kind.Even if I do in the future decide I want to have sex in the future - providing the relationship can last of course - I'd make sure we at least waited the year and a half till he was 16, and if we are still together and he didn't mind waiting, coz it would be partly for his benefit anyway, it can only prove our suitability for a long term relationship anyway, as well as developing feelings with us, can't it?To be honest I guess it's not me and him that worries me as I really like him, it's other people as he is 14 nearly 15 and I'm 17 nearly 18 - I'm almost legally an adult, and if the roles were reversed, him 17 and me 14, then the lynch mobs would be out in protest - I know they were for the boy friend of another friend and she was 15 when he was 17. But maybe because I'm a girl his family won't worry too much, I've already talked it over with my mum (one of the two people I told) and she doesn't mind us getting together at all, which is a comfort at least...
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 June 2007):
 I'm sorry but you could get in very serious trouble whether you're a girl or a guy, dating someone with that age difference won't matter in a few years but it sure does when you are talking about 14 and 17, even 15 and 18. Be prepared for his parent's disapproval, as a parent I would not allow my daughters or son to date someone so much older when they were 14 or 15. Just keep it friendly for a few more years. Time will fly.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (14 June 2007):
 Maybe you should both sit down with his mum and chat how you both feel through, especially the waiting for sex bit. His mum may worry about you being a few years older then him but I think thats normal for a loving parent.
When I was 15 I dated someone in his 20s and my parents didn't like it especially when it became physical before I turned 16 and I don't blame them for the feeling the way they did.
His mum should respect you coming to talk to her about the situation rather than just getting on with it kind of thing.
Good luck!
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