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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend works in an office, reps call weekly to see her. One guy phoned her every day, with some business question. She thought he had a crush on her.Then we got together and he stopped phoning so often.Then one day on a visit he told her that other people were saying that they were having an affair, they had a laugh about it. But then when he phoned the next time he asked for Mrs (his surname) and they had another laugh about it.He visited the office 1 week before my girlfriends birthday and called her Mrs (his surname) in front of other staff members, they had another laugh. Then he asked her to go out to lunch for her birthday, which is no big deal, he then reluctantly asked my girlfriends boss (female) to lunch as well (her birthday was a few days earlier, which she accepted.Then as he was leaving he said to my girlfriend "lets hope she doesnt come to the lunch, then we can go alone" and followed that up with "and maybe we wont come back to the office after lunch". Now I know they have a business relationship, and to go to lunch is no big deal, but putting all the little things together make me feel a little uncomfortable. My girlfriend says hes not like that.and also, on one visit he spent time with the boss smoothing over some customer / client issues and 2 minutes after coming out of the office was asking my girlfriend if she would consider going to work for him. Am i being over sensitive ?, is he sending out signals, or have I got it all wrong ?. I trust my girlfriend but am a little concerned about the reps intentions.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 Sometimes it just helps to know someone else would feel or act the same way if they were you.
Jealousy is an uncontrollable emotion and everyone has a certain amount of it in them and the different situations affect our jealousy to different levels, I've always found that jealous even over little things that really has no need for it shows that person cares and the relationship matters to them, only time jealousy is a problem is when it is to an excess and out of control with no actual reason for it.
Good luck, and yeah keep us posted :o)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow really impressed with the speed and quality of the replies , i am going to follow the advice and see what is said.
thanks for restoring my sanity I thought I was inventing things and being unresonable, i dont want to do the typical "jealous guy" routine, but also dont want to put my head in the sand. Thanks again. will post an update later.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
I would be concerned in this situation if I was you aswell but that doesn't mean I think there is anything wrong here I just feel it is natural that you are feeling concerned and jealous regarding the way this guy is towards your girlfriend.
He may have feelings towards your girlfriend which really isn't an issue as I'm sure everyone has an admirer but it isn't an issue if it is one way feelings on his part.
I would talk to your girlfriend and explain how you are feeling and how it upsets you that someone else is being this way towards her as she just may not even realise how this looks and how this is effecting you.
Good luck :o)
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (27 September 2006):
 No I don't think you're not being over sensitive. Your girlfriend however, is either deluded or loving the attention. It sounds like she's playing mind games. She obviously knows what's going on or she wouldn't be telling you about it. She's making sure you know that other men find her attractive. Whether she's trying to make you jealous or seeing your reaction, it's unfair and she should have long since kicked the guy into touch. Business lunches are fine, but that's not his intention (could he be more obvious?), so lunches with men making suggestive comments is not okay in my book. I'm sure you can trust her, but she does sound like she's encouraging the situation to continue by laughing, joking about it and accepting his lunch invitation. Ask your girlfriend how she'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If she says she wouldn't mind, I'd bet my car she's telling fibs!
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