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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have a big problem. My personality has changed a lot since I was a boy. I used to be a humble kid. But now when I get home after any kind of social interaction, and think about how I behaved and what people's reactions to were to things I said n did, I can't help but feel like I had been snobbish. I used to be able to respect people without knowing anything about them, but now I just can’t. They have to earn it. It is also very concerning to me that I can't truly appreciate other's success’s mean I know how to act and make sure the right words come out of my mouth. But inside I think eh they're just lucky or that even I could do what they did. I also have a problem with telling white lies to stop hurting other people's feelings, I just tell them what I really think a lot of the time. I'm just too spontaneous around people, I can't seem to stop and think of how my words could hurt them. One time a friend called me casually just to chat...and I ended up asking so what do you want? Are you forgetting something?... Something along those lines. My sister who overheard got upset n asked what was wrong with me. It was then that I realised that I have this complete lack of empathy towards others. I remember when songs/movies used to move me emotionally, some still do but not like how they used to. I lie a lot too, about simple things, things that have no consequence even if had said the truth. If a friend asked me why I wasn't at the pub, instead of telling them I couldn't make it because I felt tired, I would say I got a flat tyre...stuff like that. It bothers me that I am potentially hurting people everyday without even me realising it.I feel like I'm turning into this emotionless man-robot whose only objective is to make sure that every situation I'm in returns some form of computable outcome for me.I know it sounds like I'm over-analyzing myself but all of this is the brutal, honest truth. Am I a sociopath/psychopath? Is it possible to become a normal person again through therapy? What bothers me is that I wasn't always like this. I became this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TylerSage  +, writes (1 November 2017):
 I'm not a doctor but the fact you are worried you might be a sociopath, for the most part, indicates you probably are are not a sociopath. A person with such a personality wouldn't care. They would only acknowledge that they're different and move on with there life devouring whoever they may.From you examples, I'm sensing something close to mild borderline personality disorder or bipolarism. It means you emotions have pretty much gone haywire. As a result you can feel less emphatic at times, or happy, then sad, they really happy, then really sad, they completely switch your emotions off for the day. You could love the world and all it's inhabitants at 1:00 and want it to burn to ashes by 2:00.These personality disorder usually take effect during young adulthood. Does you family have a history of mental illness? It's nothing to be ashamed off and treatment is available. How about you try doing a few tests online. See if your results can shed some light. If you think you need a confidant and guidance, try talking to a therapist.All the best.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (30 October 2017):
 This is very much like jumping in the deep end of the pool when you can't even swim properly, however, you should really put yourself out there and apply to work part-time, as a volunteer in a soup kitchen or for an organisation whereby you will be dealing with those direct, who are suffering in one way or another.
This is one of the best ways to learn the art of tolerance, appreciation, respect and empathy for others.
First and foremost though, you need to get to the bottom of your change in personality.
You should make an appointment to see a professional who specialises in CBT.
This way, you can really get down to the nitty gritty of why you were triggered and feel you became this way.
I'm sure deep down, you would have an idea of how/when things changed for you, however, you aren't able to fix and resolve this change without a professional's assistance and guidance.
You could also try hypnotherapy, however, i believe you'll get much more out of CBT.
In the meantime, why don't you try googling a few videos regarding how to connect to others in a more positive and constructive way.
All your current negative behaviours are interlinked in some messy way and by finding out what the source of the problem is, you can finally start to unravel and untangle the messy web you've gotten caught up in.
Also, why don't you start to make some immediate small changes.
For example- when you feel like telling a white lie, stop yourself from doing so and allow yourself to hear that inner voice.
The one that tells you to do the right thing.
Listen to and hear your conscience.
Tell yourself, even if you don't believe that you feel it, that you do have empathy for others and that you will always treat others as you'd like to be treated.
It's almost as if you're using psychology on yourself, but still, i would strongly advise you to get yourself into professional treatment asap.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (29 October 2017):
 It may be an axiom that everyone is the way life has taught them to be. Perhaps you need to examine your past and decide what has brought you to this. Being on the sociopathic scale isn't something you catch, like a cold.
It can be a useful trait if you are, for example, a captain of industry. However you don't sound too happy with yourself. You might try putting yourself in situations in which you connect with people more. It won't come naturally at first, particularly if you don't feel you care about them. However you might come to enjoy interaction eventually.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2017): Find a therapist. Do you remember when you became like this? Was it a gradual process or did it come about suddenly?How was your childhood? Have you ever felt rejected, obliged to be perfect (or at least someone else than you) to earn attention and affection?It's great that you have noticed the difference in your behavior and that you wish to do something about it. That's a solid start. Don't set any goals. Just see a therapist and see what happens.What you describe could be on a narcissism spectrum (personality disorder) but it could also be just a phase you're going through to compensate for something. Or, it could be something else entirely.Therapy can help especially if you're honest and want to work on your problems.If you can afford it start therapy asap.
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