A
female
age
36-40,
*ri_m88
writes:I've been dating this guy only about 4 months now. We've only known each other for about 7 months. One week after we started dating he asked me to move in with him. I was reluctant to say yes but my lease expired in a couple of weeks and I was having some money problems anyways... so it seemed like a good idea and I moved in. Everything was great for about 6 weeks, maybe two months, when out of the blue he said he didn't love me and didn't want me to live with him any more. He made me pack and leave within the hour. I was astounded because we were having such a good day and we actually had only had good days up to that point.Only a few days later he was trying to talk to me again. I didn't really have that deep of feelings for him at this point so I basically just tried to blow him off. I felt I could do better and he was a nutcase for he'd put me through in only two months time. He was persistent though and apologized profusely, telling me he missed me and had made a huge mistake. He begged me to move back for about a week and once again I reluctantly did. After all, he said he'd never kick me out again.So we lived together again for about 6 weeks and he just did the same thing two days ago. This time though he said we should still date and just not live together. Unfortunately I had enough time to develop feelings for him and I really do love him, I just don't understand him! If I do decide to stay with him, I don't want this pattern to repeat itself in the future. I want to figure out why he's doing it and what I or he or we can do to fix it. I think he has commitment issues because of his parents divorce when he was 6 or 7 years old. Does anyone have any suggestions to salvage this relationship or should I ditch it before this goes too far? I really don't prefer the latter though. Help?
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female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (12 August 2009):
 he moved too fast, and you allowed it.
deciding to live together in 7 days only relationship is quiet risky.
He's just immature person, and keep on changing his mind..and i bet this gonna repeating cycle in your relationship.
How come a good man hurried you packing within an hour just because he THINKS it isnt rite? it's intolerable behaviour!
Well.. do you still love him? if you do.. work it out with him. but no more move in with him.
but if you dont, just move on.
But if i were you, i will not let myself being humiliated by such an immature man for the 3rd times.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 August 2009):
I'm sure you've heard of this before, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." The problem will only continue if you allow it, which you are. This guy sounds like a complete nutjob and you should definitely move on from this relationship.
From my personal experience, it's almost always a redflag when a guy moves WAY too quickly. Asking you to move in with him after a week of dating? Then when things are going just fine he kicks you out and wants you to leave immediately? Do you know how cooky this sounds? Do you honesly believe that you should be in a relationship with someone like that?
I think you need to leave this guy and work on yourself. You need to lift your self esteem if you really think you belong in a relationship with a guy like this. You know that you deserve better.
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