A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do women do this? i've had it happen three times now and its pissing me off.You meet a woman and she agrees to go out with you. She says she wants to take it slowly, you talk get to know each other, exchange thoughts and generally get on like a house on fire, then she says she likes you as a friend but she's not ready to take things further yet. Then she goes and jumps another guy she's met a couple of times. Then when you get pissed at this and end the relationship she almost begs you to comeback, and tells you she loves you. Come on girls help me out on this one. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): Hi i'm the original poster of the question. Thanks for all the replies even the childish ones, (why i should pick up the tab for the rest of mankind i don't know). I was kind of thinking along the lines of Yos. Its a tricky one the last thing i want to do is end up bring up a Alphas child thinking its my own. I think in future i'll look for a more intelligent woman.
A
female
reader, mel2 +, writes (6 April 2008):
She is one mixed up woman or so it appears. You sound like a nice guy, maybe you get to involved to begin with! ask yourself these questions, are you looking for your soulmate? are you a little too posessive? Women these days just want a bit of fun! "unless the are looking for love" Ask your next partner if it's friendship, sex, or commitment they are seeking. And then you can focus on your future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): After being pushed around for so long by men. It's about time women started hiking their skirts up whenever they feel like it. Why are you getting so pissed off at them? That just makes you look "needy." Find out what a woman is about before you jump between the sheets with her, especially if you like her. C'mon man... we can all find meaningless sex just about anywhere.
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A
female
reader, eyesramazing  +, writes (5 April 2008):
Sorry you are getting your feelings hurt. But one reader is correct in saying... men have been doing this shit to women since the begining of time. If you are looking for "relationship" material, quit screwing them on the first or second date. Everybody likes sex. See if its holding out for.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):
Nice guys finish last. Stop playing a nice guy and start doing what actually works on women.
Don't listen to what women say, look at what they actually do. It's a totally different story.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): You are picking girls who are attracted to emotionally unavailable men and this gets their motor running, they feel they have to capture these men with their sexuality as a way of controlling men....you aren't enough of a challenge, they like you, get on great with you, but you aren't emotionally unavailable, no challenge...then when you get pissed off and leave.....wow, you are suddenly a challenge and since they weren't called upon to use their sexuality to control you or to get you, they then wonder, but why are you leaving me???? I am so great aren't I? No wait, I am really insecure and shallow, I can't lose you, you like me for who I am, don't leave I love you!
Pick a more mature woman next time, don't go for just looks or hot girls who like to control men with sex, and I think you might find one you can keep and who wants to keep you.
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (5 April 2008):
 It all just depends on the type of girl you are with. I have friends who have never done that before and are always completely honest with their relationships, but I also have friends who will do exactly hat you said. It's not actually a girl thing. It's just the person's personality.
Wishing you the best.
xx
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (5 April 2008):
 Yos has some good points. I'll add that the girl probably sees you as a backup boyfriend. She likes you but you're not the one who sets her world on fire. (Enter new guy). But she doesn't want you to go just in case she ends up with nothing.
I think she is the wrong girl for you. I know you don't want to hear this but there is a girl out there who you will set the world on fire for. So keep at it.
You should know that guys do this to women too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): after all ... ONE / ZERO for women ...
Men have been bad to us for hundrets and hundrets of yars .. now its our turnt to srew you guys up!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (5 April 2008):
 Haha. Yup. I know what you mean. Not sure too many women will admit to that though. Here is one possible answer (based mainly on evolutionary psychology):
Women are attracted to two types of men:
- Caring provider type guys who will stay faithful and stay around to raise kids and look after her, and provide emotional and financial support. Nice guys. This is who they want to settle down with. Good husband material.
- Tough, strong, charismatic, alpha-male type guys. Tall and handsome. These guys are very sexually attractive (great genes), but there is a problem. Because they are so attractive and they know it, the chances of them staying faithful and sticking around and being a provider are very small. ie, bad husband material, but great father material.
Women have to reconcile these conflicting emotions (men have their own conflicts too, but they are different). The result can be behaviour that you described: becoming friendly and intimate with 'nice guy' types, with whom they are interested in a long term relationship. But then suddenly getting powerfully attracted to an alpha-type and jumping into bed on short notice. Only to return to the 'nice guy' for emotional support and companionship.
In terms of sexual / relationship patterns... it's the 'nice guys' who tend to end up in steady long-term relationships, whilst the alpha-males are more likely to have a large number of sexual partners and be less likely to settle down. For obvious reasons.
Not a very complimentary picture perhaps. I can assure you that the picture evolutionary psychology paints of men is even less flattering ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Just a thought but when your really like someone, or even feel you love them you question everything. You worry if you sleep with them too soon they'll think your'e cheap and leave you, wait too long they'll get fed up and move on.
You worry if you show you care too soon it might put them off, or they'll think as you seem so keen they can mess you about, so you try to take it slow and not put anything in jeopardy, always second guessing yourself.
With someone your not bothered about you could sleep with them and it not mean anything. If they don't want to see you again so what, you weren't that bothered anyway.
Sounds daft I know but some people try so hard to get it right, they mess everything up doing all the wrong things.
Just my thoughts ... hope it helps.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (5 April 2008):
 I dont know.I have never been one of those girls .. but I sure had the same type of men!!! Its not a girl thing .. girls are usually not like this . You are just probably picking the wrong kinda people thats all.
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