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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am the 4th of 8 grandchildren, and it seems that the adults (our parents/grandparents) have been competing against eachother our whole lives to see which child is 'the best'. I am the youngest of the 4 grandchildren to have finished school and started college (I'm 16). My eldest cousin has mild brain damage and ended up doing a very easy course at college after failing most of his GCSEs, my elder brother is an unstable diabetic and didn't get his qualification in engineering because of poor attendence due to ill health. My other cousin and I both started the same college (one of the top colleges in the country) in September to take our A levels, and we are both struggling immensely. She has just been diagnosed with clinical depression and there is talk of her quitting and taking a course where there is less pressure in a college with a much poorer reputation. So I'm the only one left who hasn't failed. If I wasn't feeling the pressure before, I'm REALLY feeling it now. I've always been overlooked because although I am very good at a lot of things, one of the other grandchildren is always better at it, and I'm right in the middle age-wise, giving the same effect as being the middle child between siblings and so I generally get overlooked. This is my chance to shine and I don't want to let everybody down, but I'm struggling too, and after a previous post on this site a lot of people suggested I may also have clinical depression. I hate college more than you could possibly imagine but I can't quit because I don't quit, and it would be letting everybody down, especially myself. The thought of another 2 years of this makes me want to die. How can I make this more bearable? I spoke to my tutor and he just said give it time, but I've already given it the longest 2 months of my life, I'm running out of motivation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): College is stressful, but it is also the time of your life, you just don't realize it yet.
Tell your family how you feel candidly and ask them to stop pressuring you, and ask them to offer encouragement and support instead.
If you are feeling overwhelmed at you current school, consider taking a lighter course load, or change your course schedule to include a different mix of academic requirements. Perhaps you have too many core courses in one semester, or ones that all require too much reading and paper writing....just balance the mix if you can.
A lot of times pressure is all internal, caused by poor study habits or lack of organization, like putting off studying or reading your coursework until just before exam time...Meet with a school counselor and tell them the problems you are experiencing and be honest with them about your study habits....they may have some resources to help you or offer valuable advice...You are paying your tuition and these services are there for a reason, utlilize them to your best advantage.
I don't recommend quitting, just making some changes for the better, if you quit you will really lose momentum and motivation to continue your studies...hang in there you will make it through.
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