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female
,
anonymous
writes: 6 months ago i began an affair with my husbands friend after feeling alone and rejected by my husband(is that normal afetr 10yrs?) I made the foolish mistake that if i wasn't getting the attention and love i wanted from my husband then i would be happier getting it from anyone.i know it was a mistake the stupidest of my life.when i was with my lover i felt good but as soon as he left i would feel cheap and hate myself.My lover and i knew that we couldn't carry on, it wasn't like he wanted a relationship with me, just some "harmless fun" when we felt like it. Howeve things have gotten so much better with my husband, i feel like i did when we first met, totally in love with him. i know i never want to be with anyone else.the problem is that having stayed away from his friend for the past couple of months (i had slept with him only 3 times and havent seen him since august) he is now contacting me again, making hints that we should get "together one night" he has phoned me every nite for the past week "just to chat" but its getting too much!i have to tell him that although i want our previous friendship to continue,that i will never sleep with him again,that i will never give him that chance again,that i will never be that disrepectful to my husband, his friend again.how do i tell him that without hurting him? I've hurt enough people already. i cant do it anymore.I love my husband so much! i made a choice, although a bad one, and now i am trying to make up for that. My husband loves me more than anyone ever could and i never want to be without him.i dont want to lose the friendship i had with my lover but i think he is going to hate me.how can i tell him its over for good? i cant let this carry on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): You say this is over for good and please leave me alone, it was a mistake and I no longer want to betray the trust of my husband, please respect my decisiom or I will no longer have any contact with you and will encourage my husband to break off his friendship with you as well.
This is a really terrible betrayal on both of your parts and you ought to be really ashamed of yourselves. The fact that this so called friend wants to continue is really gross....if you really can't stop your affair then you need to both end your marriages and be together, but my bet is if you put it to him that way, he will immediately back off. This guy is really immature and narcissistic, stay away from him completely, he is no friend to you or your husband.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): Do you think that it's because you kind of have feelings for him that you dont want to let him down so hard, because i think in a situation as yours the best is to either tell him how it is or avoid him full stop. Tell your husband or something.
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