A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A new guy started working with me a year ago. He is the level above me and more qualified (im training to gain the same qualifications). Over the last year he has become one of my best friends. Hes great company and we get on unbelieveably well. He is also an amazing teacher, and helps a lot with my studying. We are quite different though - he is a 28 year old divorcee with a daughter, and is a comic book nerd (think big bang theory lol). Whereas im 23, still live at home while im studying and i love partying and football. We are amazingly good friends however. I also have a pretty complicated family situation, which due to the nature of our job, he can understand better than any other guy i know.Then 3 months ago I split up with my ex who I had started going out with just before I met my friend. At this point a lot of our mutual friends started saying how good we'd be together. Nothing happened until last weekend though, when we had a movie night together and ended up making out the whole night.But now I dont know what to do. I would love to see what happens as sometimes I could imagine us being everything id ever hoped for. But other times I dont want to risk our friendship, as id hate to lose him. And theres also work to think about, would it be weird if we were together and working together? I know itd be awful if we didnt work out and still had to work together.This may also sound shallow but I didnt have much physical attraction to him until we kissed, and im scared that would fade over time. We have agreed until we know what we are were not telling anyone. But im so confused i need to ask someone, so help please! :)
View related questions:
best friend, divorce, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 June 2015):
 I so agree with Anonymous 123
Don't go further with this. Not only was it a sorta rebound for you, but as sweet, cute, whatnot he is, he might just not be a very great match, and I think HE knows it.
Stick to being friends, good ones are HARD to come by. Don't overstep those boundaries with physical intimacy again.
The whole "don't sh!t where you eat" (date where you work) is a GOOD rule to live by.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (11 June 2015):
 I really cannot stress this enough and I hate using caps lock to prove my point but PLEASE DO NOT GET INTO THIS!
Trust me OP, take it from someone who's made the exact same mistake that you're thinking of getting into. I was best friends with a male colleague and had a brief affair with him which obviously didn't work out and boy did I have to pay through the nose! To make things even worse, we were stuck in the same department, we had to see each other every day, a new guy who joined the dept was interested in me...and it just escalated into One Big Mess.
Bottom line and I'm going to be very blunt when I say this: Don't sh*t where you eat.
There's a reason why people say that and I've learnt it the hard way. Please don't make the same mistake. If things don't work out then you'll literally be in hell. You'll lose a friend, you'll end up messing the beautiful relationship that you have now, there'll be bitterness and anger and generally a lot of bad blood which will all be too much to take.
...............................
|
