A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my (first serious) boyfriend for a year and a half and until a few weeks ago have been very happy, suprising some friends as most people wouldnt automatically have put us together. we come from very different families and have very different interests. despite this we found that we get on amazingly well and had a certain chemistry. we also get on very well with each others families. im going to university within a month whilst he will stay in my home town as he works full time. i have always known that im going to uni and we have always said we'll still try and make it work. even though i never really saw us staying together for 3 years i thought it might last a while longer. i also knew that i didnt want to break up with him just before uni as his ex g/f did a similar thing which upset him as she 'didnt even give it a go' he says. about a year ago we booked a holiday for 2 weeks with his family which is in a weeks time (just before uni)which i have paid a lot of money for. my problem is that over the past few weeks i have realised that i no longer love him in the way i used to and this has made me realise that we dont have much in common anymore. he came on my family holiday and annoyed me the entire time! there is no point in trying to talk to him about subjects which interest me such as politics, history, literature or comedy as he's just not interested. whereas his interest in rock/alternative music and gigs fails to interest me yet i have always made the effort to take an interest, especially in his band. we used to talk all the time and always make an effort to spend time together whereas now we dont even text each other goodnight. if i wasnt about to go on holiday with him and i wasnt about to leave for uni i know for certain that i would end things now but my situation complicates everything. i also dont think he doesnt realises how unhappy i am and close i am to breaking up with him. my mum has recommended that i dont break up with him straight after the holiday and just before uni as i will look like the 'bad guy'. she thinks i should leave it a few weeks into term and i totally understand that but i dont want to start uni with this hanging over me! what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the advice.
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