A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Need some advice! So my bf had his xwife come with the kids and his parents. We talked about this, he lead me to believe she'd be staying with relatives. He did not invite me for Christmas. Now he wants me to meet everyone next week for new years! And she's staying at his house!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): Yes, the children's mother will always be in the picture, but I think your boyfriend is handling this all wrong. In my opinion, she should not be staying at his house! You need to talk to him about how you feel and try to get this resolved so you can at least feel somewhat secure about the situation.
A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (27 December 2009):
If you choose to be with a man who has kids, then his ex will be in your life forever; till death. There are Christmases, birthdays, first day at school, sports events, parent/teacher conferences, graduation from highschool, college, weddings, new babies, christenings, their first day at school... I could go on forever. If he introduces you to his family including the ex then you have nothing to worry about. No Christmas invitation was probably to not upset the kids on their day, by choosing that day to introduce them to their dad's new woman. The best thing would have been to introduce you weeks/months before first. I am not saying you have to accept this, but if you choose to be with him then you are likely to be excluded from many more events. My ex husband spent the entire Christmas with me and his kids, although we feel nothing for each other. But for the kids, we set aside our partners for the 2 days. Over time when the kids have adjusted then we will be able to involve our new partners in important events. We speak every single day about the kids and sometimes I hear the new woman complaining in the background. I actually like her but she makes it hard by seeing my kids and me as competition. It is not easy being a step mother; you have to be very understanding. If not then its best to find a single guy.
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A
female
reader, klc5252 +, writes (27 December 2009):
not invited for christmas and you are his girlfriend? i would start there... a problem i would say
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