A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I and my husband been having alot of problems because I and his mom do not get along. For xmas Ihad a big fight with his parents and sister because I wanted to leave early to my family and they were in the middle of opening the gifts. he deffend his family and I leaf with my 3 kids and he stood there with them. what should I do ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (18 January 2010):
I think it was disrespectful of you to decide to leave during a special family moment, especially with their grandchildren. If you and your husband love each other then you should compromise. You are now adults in your own right so why not hold Christmas next year at your place and invite your parents and his parents? If you can't handle it then agree beforehand where you are having Christmas then stick to the plan. I feel sorry for your kids because they are not learning anything about family from you. You made your husband look like an idiot in front of his family so did you expect him to suddenly go running off with you at that moment? If you love him then you need to stop humiliating him. You should have stayed then had your fight later and maybe seen your family next day. Or Christmas eve for one set of parents, Christmas day for yourselves at home and Boxing Day for the other set of parents is how most married couples do it. Why turn a special day into a confrontation? So what if you dont like your mother in law? Nobody here does but we show tolerance because we love her son. And we teach our children the right and wrong way to behave in moments like these. I think you should apologise to your husband.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 January 2010):
 I agree with caring guy, you should never try to see them both on the same day. Yes it was bad of him to only defend his family, but it was also very rude of you to try and leave in the middle of present opening. Instead of trying to see them all in one day, alternate years that you will see each family. One year you ALL go to your family's home for x-mas eve and x-mas, and then the next year go to his family's home for the same. No holiday should feel rushed, like you're trying to fit everyone in.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 January 2010):
In the future, never make the mistake of trying to see both your parents and his on the same day. See one on Xmas Eve, the other set on Boxing Day and reserve Xmas day for yourselves. Now onto the actual point. Sadly, you chose the wrong moment to leave. Now I do understand that you wanted to leave early, but they were in the middle of opening presents, and that really was a bad time to choose to go. And of course, not wanting to look bad in front of mother, he stood there and defended them, rather than try to rationally explain it to them. So really this is a 50/50 thing. Hence why you need the arrangement above. I would say that you're sorry for asking to leave early, but then say because of that and because he decided to stick up for his parents instead of you, you will never again try to see anyone on Xmas Day, and only see them Xmas Eve or Boxing Day.
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