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female
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*hida Sitthilutrakul
writes: I have a problem.I love my friend's boyfriend and I think he love me too but my friend don't know about my relation.Both of them are very good to me.I am confused that I should choose my friend or him.What should I do?... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wheredidwegowrong  +, writes (19 August 2008):
How does this happen? Could someone please explain how your friend's boyfriend falls for you or vice versa??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): tell your friend that you like him
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): KAY im going through the same thing,, if you really like him go for it just in a non obvious way do that untill they break up then go for him dont ruin your feelings for him but dont ruin your friendship eahtier
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): Think About It Shes Your Best Friend ,You Might Like Him But Is He Worth Losing A Friendship Over ?
Just Remember Friends Will Always Be There Boyfriends Come And Go ,Its Up To You But I Would Advise To Leave It Alone And Put Your Friend First Remember It There Heart Your Be Bracking Vickii x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): i have this situation as well. id find out if he actually does love you first before making any decisions, and like if he does make it clear to him that you have feelings as well. then he can make an informed decision. just if he breaks up with your friend, wait a bit and then ask her if its ok if you date him. then things won't seem so bad.
good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): i think you 'd better choose your friend. after all, you don't hope you would lose your friend because of her friend. you won't let her or him be sad ,i know you loving her boyfriend is not your fault. but you would regret for choosing her boyfriend one day. as her friend, you should give up this feeling to find your own love. meanwhile, believe it if her boyfriend truly love you, he should be responsible for you and her as girlfriends. love is not the most important in our life!! i hope my suggestion is useful for you!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Definitely it's likely you'll lose your friend and in all likehood, somewhere down the line, this guy too. Then what? Is he WORTH the friendship?And really, friends DO NOT do this to friends. It's like a bag of Ruffles potato chips: FIND YOUR OWN,
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): i'm not a christian but i like the 1 corinthians' quote. of course it can be applied the other way round: if he loves you he will be patient and kind, and if your friend loves you, they will be patient and kind, if they are worth it from the christian viewpoint. so, you may get what you want :) anyway, there are probably many other people out there who feel the way you do and if you lose a few friends along the way then that's a normal part of life (btw probably - certainly, if you reply i tell you my email), even if i still love people that i have lost or left i believe i love more people now as a conssequence... some people think it's not right to love many people, but i choose to ... so??? what did you do in the end?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): im in the same situation. I'd say if you love your friend then wait. If your friends bf loves you, then that says their relationship isnt gonna last long. After some time, talk to your friend, and tell her how you feel. If you really are friends a guy shouldnt get in between you. Good luck!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): Leave him alone and Search for another boyfriend.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): i think i have this proplem too i love but i can't tell hir i wont how help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2006): Choose your friend. I am in a situation where my so called friend chose my boyfriend and now she feels so guilty, she wont even talk to me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): go for the guy.
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female
reader, hopeless +, writes (16 July 2005):
I think you should choose your friend. If he's going behind her back with you then most likely if you pursue a relationship with him what will he do behind your back? Guys come a dime a dozen but friendship is supposed to last forever and I think you need to be up front with your friend. Honesty is the best answer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2005): You really need to question who is more important to you. Your friend, or her boyfriend? How would you feel if your friend wanted your boyfriend? In the end, it's up to you. No one likes boyfriend stealers///
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2005): If you have ever been stabbed in the back by a friend —then you’re familiar with the feelings of pain and deception. Friends do not do that to friends. If you are prepared to date your friend's boyfriend then be prepared to lose a good friend. But be aware..this guy can't be trusted. If he does this with his girlfriend now..he will do the same to you. Can you live with that? My advice...go find your own guy and leave your friend's boyfriend alone. Maybe give yourself some distance between this couple and yourself for awhile and try real hard to move on. But please...keep your self-respect and do NOT mess around with other girl's boyfriends. Learn from this.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (15 July 2005):
Only you can choose. Is this boy really worth losing your friend over?
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reader, schlottjl +, writes (15 July 2005):
 Give them both up for their own good. You cannot love someone that you barely know. If you know him very well you are not dating him so you don't know what he is like in private- if you do, you love a faithless jerk.
You are not a good friend either. You cannot be trusted not to be selfish. You scheme behind their back.
You have the hots for someone. Good people do not allow themselves to entertain the thought. They instead will make note of the feeling and not consider hormone rushes something that is real. You had to project you own wishes onto him to get to the point of saying it is love. Love is a selfless act, not a chemical imbalance. That is just chemistry. Consider that you might only have the feeling because if he left her for you, then you would somehow be a more desirable person than your friend. Of course he would be a jerk and why do we care what jerks think? Oh- yeah, doesn't matter what is real, so long as you think it is. You think he loves you so you are already considering dumping your friend. Nice!
Instead, get it out of your head that you know what others think. Your question is odd because you presume to know what your friends boyfriend is feeling when you do not understand your own.
Leave them alone if you want to feel good about yourself. Otherwise, you will lose them both. Be a friend to call yourself one. Act in love, not the state that hits you after your eyes first meet, but in a way that takes their concerns and happiness into account.
Even if you are not a Christian, there is a great Bible verse that defines what real love looks like. In the real world, you can use it as a compass to see if your sex feelings are based on truth and reality or fantasy and imagination.
I Corinthians 13:4-8 (biblically: love a.k.a. charity). It says love is patient, KIND, not boastful or PROUD. It is not SELF-SEEKING, rude, easily angered and it does not keep score of wrongs. Love does not delight in EVIL PLANS but concerns itself with only good. It PROTECTS, hopes, trusts and always perseveres. And it never fails. (Since it does not fail it is trustworthy.)
So if it is still true that you love them, you will not give either up. You will not go near the guy and you will encourage your friend to be happy.
Not to call God wrong but if I were him I would have added: Love is never easy and hurts like hell. I hope you take this in the spirit I mean it. To continue on your path is dangerous and a sure fire way to end up very alone. There are plenty of people to chose from. Why try to get a guy that would like your friend enough to date her (not you) but then hurt her by leaving her for her friend?
If they break up someday, and after a little while he asks you out? Go for it. They are not married not do they own each other. But insist on decency form those you intend to love.
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