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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating this guy for about five months. I can tell he was the kind of guy who never got into any serious relationship before until me. He obviously likes me a lot and shows his affection for me daily. He emails/calls/texts daily. He also makes it known that I'm his girlfriend by showing me off. I checked his phone the other night because I was drunk and I found a text message from a girl who was saying things pretty derogatory. These text messages were received about two weeks ago and haven't been any since (that I know of). The text messages said a few sexual things, and when I asked him who he dated before me, I matched names and this is the same girl. Should I trust him? Could this be just simple flirting? If not, how do I bring this issue up?
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female
reader, louise74 +, writes (23 February 2006):
I am in a similar situation. Am not proud of myself for looking at his phone but it was strange how he started hiding it when he never use too. I found dirty messages to his ex and i know that they met,and were going to meet again.
Maybe too men its nothing but an ego boost and hes adament it was not going anywhere, but who knows for sure,but once they realize the hurt and pain they cause they see its not fun at all.Trust is very important,and although i am working on that its not easy.
I hope you find it in yourself to do what is right for you.
Let me know how it goes and take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006): this guy sounds a bit like the way mine was. what happened with mine, i think, was that he was totally into me and everything but he was going on dating sites. someone reckoned he was just keeping his options open but i think there were two reasons. 1. he had only ever had one other proper relationship where he had got really hurt and was scared i would do the same, and 2. ego. he didn't see anything wrong wit hit because he didn't really have much of an idea about how relationships are supposed to be!i don't think you should stop trusting your bf. it is probably just flirting. if it hasn't happened since then it was probably just flirting and i have a feeling he didn't reply.
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