A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend with whom I've been dating for a year and half (long distance relationship). We see each other every 5-6 months. Everything was perfect. I know he loves me and he is the nicest guy I've ever met. But we r different. He is 24 now,kinda settled down, but me, just turned 18, i love parting and just having fun with my friends. we aaalways argue about me parting.So the big problem started when i went on best friends birthday. i got very drunk. and i slept with my brother's best friend. who is extremely hot! (i gave my big V to my bf, so this guy was the 2d guy in my life in the bed)and.. the problem.!!! i loved having sex with him. its like we were so suitable 4 each other. I've never had this with my boyfriend.. so with this guy (my brother's best friend) we decided to have "casual sex" sometimes when we go party. coz we all hang out together. (if my bro knows, i'm dead)we both knew its all wrong. we tried to stop it 3 times. But we couldn't stop ourselves. and we live in the same dorm. :( so... it's been 2 months already. and even though we had a deal not to like each other, I'm falling in love with him. coz right now it's Much More than a sex.. and.. my boyfriend is coming to see me in 2 days. i don't know what to do. there is no future with this guy. but we r so suitable and similar in personalities. and plz, have in mind that my older brother will never let us be together. this 2 months were in a big secret. and yes, I know cheating is bad. but u should know my life before u judge me. so plz, just any advice will be good)
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (29 December 2010):
 First the judging part. No matter how your life is, cheating is still bad. I have never found a view where we can state that cheating is bad, unless.......
You need to end it with your boyfriend. You've found another. It doesn't make you a bad person, but what can seem that way is when you've found another, but you keep your boyfriend stringing along believing everything is okay. You can be with who you choose, just don't deceive one to be with another, because in deceiving one is not right to them, and is not justified by the life you've had. It's a choice, and is not prompted by anything else but deciding, yes I will cheat or no I won't. If you can't stop it, you have other issues that you need to be looking at. Self control is important, and in being with this other guy, it's equally important, just in case a hotter guy comes around.
Take care.
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