A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 50 year old man self employed married to a beautiful lady since 27 year father of 3 daughters doing MBAin my orginization a 25 year young beautiful lady made advances towards me and made friendship with me on mobile and SMS this was 3 years back finely. I also responded we became intimate ( outer course only ) over the period we realized this relationship has and will have no name as I can't leave my wife so I distant myself from her which is very painful and now when I am with my wife I have her in the back of my mind I am sad confused what is it Lust or Love ?can't bear Or Imagine her to marry someone else.
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male
reader, mrdesai  +, writes (1 January 2010):
we are all creatures of evolution. the entire goal of life is reproduction. the fiction of monogamy was developed culturally. however, we need to live in the contemporary world--and by the culture we live in.You have committed a terrible act. the reason i say this is it will kill your sexual/intimate/emotive association with your spouse.cheating, if in a vacuum, is not that bad. yet nothing happens in a vacuum. in reality, lives are destroyed, hearts are broken, and reputations ruined.best advice: nip what you have done in the bud, bury it. never do it again. reaffirm your love/commitment to your spouse--and pretend it never happened.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 March 2009):
 I vote "lust". Now you be a big boy and let your little friend move on with her young life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): This is a very long post. Sorry .
It's called a mid life crises?? 27 years is such a long time. Having an extra marital affair is not the answer. Sure the other woman is 25 years old, younger than your wife but how would you feel if your wife took a lover? Sick isn't it?
Lust for the 25 yr old will be powerful, but what about your wife. Some men forget that their wives also want love, sex and affection but they go on to cheat. They forget that their wives are also human - I am sure you expect your wife to be prtim and proper, for her to know her place and for her to see to the kids, household- basically everything. Yet you cheat and li emotionally in this marriage. You would want your wife to be the perfect hostess, see to the extended family and friends.
By seeing this other person you are betraying your wife of 27 years. What has she done to deserve this? How would you face your daughters in the end. I am sure your daughters are almost the same age as your lover - how will they feel when this comes out. Your lover has consumend your time, energy, passion for so long - now it is time for you to spend this on your wife. I note that you are from Pakistan. As an Indian male you would be stark raving mad if you even notice another man looking at your wife. Why, because you feel that after 27 years she belongs to you. In the same breath you also belong to her.
You are self employed and this other woman person works with you too. As the boss you have crossed the line of professionalism. Did she really chase you and you eventually gave in? If so, what kind of person is she, homely?decent? or out only to get the boss. If you are islamic/indian, then you would have preferred that your wife was a virgin when you met her. I am sure this was the case. Was your lover also a virgin when you slept with her. Highly unlikely! I am making this comparison to show you that your wife was faithful to you. This 25 year old will not be satisfied with a 50 year old for long. She would want to have fun, maybe she was having fun with you. You must have bought her lots of gifts. But she would want more, she would want a virile young man to satisfy her needs and maybe you would not be able to shortly. Then what, do you run back to the faithful loyal wife. Maybe then it will be too late because your wife will not take you back. You would have destroyed her and lost your precious family. You can try to get this this woman out of your head. So what if she marries someone else? Good riddance to her – does she threaten to marry someone else. She must be making you jealous. You must be feeling good that a younger woman made a play for you. You are old enough to be her father. But she is nothing more than a little distraction and yes you were distracted but it has to stop. NOW.
You are throwing away 27 years. If you want to indulge in sexual intercourse please seek this from your wife. You will be surprised that she will be willing. Maybe the spark is missing after all these years. It's time to put in back into your marriage. You see, married women also like to have sex but are either too afraid to tell their husbands or they seek it elsewhere. Do not be a fool. You say that your wife is beautiful. Then love your beautiful wife and stop indulging in LUST. And yes it is LUST for this younger woman AND yourself. You would note that I have called this other person a woman and not a lady. A lady would not do the things she has done with you. Remember that you have built a good home, has 3 daughters, keep your respect for yourself, your wife and marriage. If you are not careful you can loose everything, this would be your marriage, your wife, your lover, your children and your self respect. Please do not let this happen. Talk to your wife and rekindle the love.
If you end it with your wife please know that she will not take you back. You will be in your 50'S BUT ALONE because your lover will get tired of you. I am sorry I have mentioned explicit details above but it needed to be said so that you can see the true situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): This is a very long post. Sorry .
It's called a mid life crises?? 27 years is such a long time. Having an extra marital affair is not the answer. Sure the other woman is 25 years old, younger than your wife but how would you feel if your wife took a lover? Sick isn't it?
Lust for the 25 yr old will be powerful, but what about your wife. Some men forget that their wives also want love, sex and affection but they go on to cheat. They forget that their wives are also human - I am sure you expect your wife to be prtim and proper, for her to know her place and for her to see to the kids, household- basically everything. Yet you cheat and li emotionally in this marriage. You would want your wife to be the perfect hostess, see to the extended family and friends.
By seeing this other person you are betraying your wife of 27 years. What has she done to deserve this? How would you face your daughters in the end. I am sure your daughters are almost the same age as your lover - how will they feel when this comes out. Your lover has consumend your time, energy, passion for so long - now it is time for you to spend this on your wife. I note that you are from Pakistan. As an Indian male you would be stark raving mad if you even notice another man looking at your wife. Why, because you feel that after 27 years she belongs to you. In the same breath you also belong to her.
You are self employed and this other woman person works with you too. As the boss you have crossed the line of professionalism. Did she really chase you and you eventually gave in? If so, what kind of person is she, homely?decent? or out only to get the boss. If you are islamic/indian, then you would have preferred that your wife was a virgin when you met her. I am sure this was the case. Was your lover also a virgin when you slept with her. Highly unlikely! I am making this comparison to show you that your wife was faithful to you. This 25 year old will not be satisfied with a 50 year old for long. She would want to have fun, maybe she was having fun with you. You must have bought her lots of gifts. But she would want more, she would want a virile young man to satisfy her needs and maybe you would not be able to shortly. Then what, do you run back to the faithful loyal wife. Maybe then it will be too late because your wife will not take you back. You would have destroyed her and lost your precious family. You can try to get this this woman out of your head. So what if she marries someone else? Good riddance to her – does she threaten to marry someone else. She must be making you jealous. You must be feeling good that a younger woman made a play for you. You are old enough to be her father. But she is nothing more than a little distraction and yes you were distracted but it has to stop. NOW.
You are throwing away 27 years. If you want to indulge in sexual intercourse please seek this from your wife. You will be surprised that she will be willing. Maybe the spark is missing after all these years. It's time to put in back into your marriage. You see, married women also like to have sex but are either too afraid to tell their husbands or they seek it elsewhere. Do not be a fool. You say that your wife is beautiful. Then love your beautiful wife and stop indulging in LUST. And yes it is LUST for this younger woman AND yourself. You would note that I have called this other person a woman and not a lady. A lady would not do the things she has done with you. Remember that you have built a good home, has 3 daughters, keep your respect for yourself, your wife and marriage. If you are not careful you can loose everything, this would be your marriage, your wife, your lover, your children and your self respect. Please do not let this happen. Talk to your wife and rekindle the love.
If you end it with your wife please know that she will not take you back. You will be in your 50'S and ALONE because your lover will get tired of you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): Sometimes in life, other things seem exciting and risky. I suggest to you, that you play the safe option. Your wife obvoiusly loves you, you have kids with her, and honestly, leaving your wife for a younger model isn't all its cracked up to be.
It's lust, and don't fall for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): You must be stony-hearted to do such a thing.
If you don't love her, file for divorce and find someone else and let her find happiness.
Karma works both ways... don't let it happen to you!
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (16 March 2009):
 You have been with your wife 27 years. That is love.
Think of all the things she has done for you like give birth to your 3 daughters, look after the family, cook and clean and support you in every way possible and you repay her for this by cheating on her.
How would you feel if she was cheating on you after 27 years of a happy marrige. You should stop all contact other than buisness with this other lady. Be there for your wife like shes been there for you for over 27 years of your life.
Livia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): well in the past while i was at work this 52 year old man come on to me i was 19 at the time he was maint.man i was housekeeping his wife and daughtre lived on property he made it very clear that he loved her and i was just a fling well he was so GOOD! i went along w/ that no one knows no one gets hurt ....we still talk i dont work there anymore he dose everythings fine ........another story i have done in the past i was 14 he was 19 married with a babe yes i was the babysitter call me homerecker he went to jail got out had kids w/ another woman that didnt work out for him 5 years later wer back together and have a babe boy his first boy ...i guess follow ur heart do what makes u happy try not to hurt others good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): whoops - missed out the words "can't" in the sentence:
You bare her being happy by marrying someone else - how can that be the love you describe?
it should read:
You can't bear her being happy by marrying someone else - how can that be the love you describe?
apologies Star.x - going to buy some more thumbs now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): its stupid is what it is.
you bare her being happy by marrying someone else - how can that be the love you describe? so therefore it must be lust. Go have sex with your wife - beautiful sex with her and remember all the things you have done in yours years of marriage. Be happy that you can have those feelings inside and push them towards your wife.
Hugs star.x
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