A
female
age
36-40,
*eykee
writes:I will try to make this quick ,I been with my Man for 8 and half years , We are suppose to get married this year, I love him to death and a part of me is so ready. Problem is for the first 5 years he was unfaithful, loving him so much I settle for that and started cheating myself, I justified my own cheating with the old get me and I will get you back saying. Problem is now he's faithful and I am not, I been with another guy for almost a year I love him too, big problem, now I am pregnant, its the other guy's I told my man, surprisingly he forgave me and agreed to raise the child as his own along with our four year old, on one condition the other guy has no part of the child's life, but he's not having that he wants to be apart of his kids life, and worst of all we are still seeing each other and everything, I can't leave him alone as bad as I want to, what the fuck am I suppose to do now,. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): i have to say that you should stop seeing this other guys unless ur man noes and dosnt mind and ure not a bad person for doing this its just that u may not noe what you want but when u have ur chilod what will he think wil you lie so u dont hurt hi/her or tell the truth and you just have to think af what is best for you and your family
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): Hello,I think you need to be totally honest with yourself. One do you really love your boyfriend or is it convenience and security. If you continue trying to play both guys you will be the one that is hurt and the baby will suffer in the long run. Remember the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Trying to pay someone back always backfires in your face eventually. I hope that you make the right decisions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): How do you know it is the other guys baby?
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r  +, writes (28 June 2007):
poor kid, to be raised in a mess like that. what type of life is that to enter
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A
female
reader, Keykee +, writes (28 June 2007):
Keykee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok not that u guys care Marlon turned out to be an ass. So I am happy decided to stick with my man,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): I think you have messed up big time,this is gunna sound harsh, but you & your boyfriend should have broken it off when 1 of you started cheating. If you loved each other like you say you do there would be nobody else, & now you wanna bring another child into the messy business. If i was you i would leave both blokes alone & concentrate on your children, cos at the end of the day they are thr ones who are gunna suffer the most from all this
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A
female
reader, Keykee +, writes (16 June 2007):
Keykee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I appreciate you guys being so honest with me , But I don't think I will take the advice that was mostly given (that I break up with my bf) I love him too much and I know u guys are like some way to show it, But I do. As for the other guy ,I will have to find a way to distance myself from him, and if he wants to see his child once its born, I will do it on the DL although I know its wrong. or I can tell my man the truth and knowing that he won't accept that, I will deal with the consequences of my actions, I don't think my child should be lied to about ,whose it father ,on the account to protect my heart or my bf for that matter. So what will be done will be, on the other hand ,I don't think he care to much, I mean he says he do,but I think its just sexual and this child is a connection for him, SO the old saying is true you play with hearts and ur the one end up getting played. I love him enough to forgive him and he loved me enough to forgive me, so I am sure our relationship can survive this, but thanks again for letting vent.It not easy to trust and be faithful again after being hurt by someone u love. and the worst part is realizing that hurting them back hurts u just as much.So a piece of advice to women out there being cheated on move on ,don't step to their level , because they can play the field and go on with their lives , we end up with a life to take care of ,PEACE
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): How can you be so Disrespectful to your poor boyfriend? I cant believe people like you who get off on hurting peoples feelings? I was in your boyfriends EXACT same position. except obviously It was the Other woman who was pregnant. That isnt as bad looking at it from your boyfriends point of view because you have to realise, HE will be bringing the kid up as his Own after all the lies and deceipt. I have just seperated myself from it. How can you do this to him after he loves you enough to sacrafice everything to stay with you. End it with your boyfriend. It will hurt him more than you can ever know but the damage is done now and you need to set him free to make his own choices. dont humiliate the poor bloke by lying behind his back. or failing that you just need to get away from this other guy. It does work you know after affairs. It has for us. I have never cheated on my bloke but he did and he will NEVER do it again. This can be the same for you if you love eachother enough. Just at least give it a try if not just do the right thing and let your bf go please! He deserves better dont you think?
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (15 June 2007):
you do the decent thing and let your bf get on with his life. you say you love him to bits but youve broken his heart and now expect him to raise the result as his own AND then shake hands with the real dad wen he comes to visit. i think your bf has had emense courage to offer to raise it as his own let alone stay with you.
end it and let him move on
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (12 June 2007):
 End it with the boyfriend if you cant leave this other guy alone. It isnt fair.
If you want to stay with the boyfriend you need to cut every tie with this other guy apart from him being your babies father.
xxxx
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (12 June 2007):
 well first u need to sort out hoo u wont to have sex wiv n hu u dnt wana hav sex wiv cos continuin wiv 2 men at 1 time int tht gud for ur kids sake. the father of the babii deserves to see his biological father ther fore u shud tel the father to ur other kid that wot he said cant work.. therfor u wil have to leave him. do it for ur kids and make sure every1 stays in contact with their biological dads and you. hope i helped.
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