A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is being honest about the fact that you've cheated on someone, and facing the full consequences, the only way to make sure that one is never tempted to cheat again? I've heard some people say that the "guilt" is enough to make someone more loyal and faithful...but others seem to be of the opinion that if it remains a "secret" the cheater is more likely to feel that they "got away with it" and in the future will rationalize being able to do it again...What do folks think... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xAx  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 I believe that cheating occurs when the person is not satisfied or is just a selfish person who acts on their emotions.
People do find it easier to see the faults of everything than to see all the good things, which leads some to cheating. However, i don't believe that a cheater is always a cheater. You need to know what kind of person they are. Did they have a bad sex life with their partner or are they in a loving relationship but still deciding to be with someone else?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): "the only way to make sure that one is never tempted to cheat again?"
No, there is no way to never be tempted to cheat. No matter what happens there'll always be a certain temptation, a situation that will arise where a person has the perfect opportunity to cheat, has it handed to them on a plate or is drunk alone with another person who is making moves.
There is no cast iron way to prevent cheating, it's about self control and trust. But the trust and self control begins by not letting yourself get into the position where you can cheat in the first place.
It begins by not getting too close in a romantic sense to anyone but your partner. Whether it's just flirting or full physical contact. When in a relationship you have to maintain certain boundaries, you can't let someone come on to you without telling them early it's not going to happen.
The only way to prevent cheating is proper communication if there are problems in the relationship. Self control and respect of boundaries and of course trust.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (6 August 2010):
 i think cheating is a disgusting behaviour. ok many can argue its in the blood to spread the seed but we are ment to live in advanced world so why shouldnt basic things be advanced to be faithful! i know many people who are older and have never once cheated! the thing is no one in this world today wants to work for the good things and try and cheat in everway possible! the other problem is their is no god damn respect either its disgraceful what children get up to and im not that old either but im well behaved and wouldnt think to do anything outrageous and when i see others doing so it saddens me. the biggest trouble with the world is no one has self control! oh ill eat this bit of chocolate and go oh why am i fat or i cheated but shell forgive me if i give the puppy dog eyes! so personally i dont think you have to cheat to know its wrong thats a silly ideawould you rob a store just so you have guilt to not rob it next year ? aphex :P
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): Both notions hold some truth, it just depends on the individual. Some people really don' t have any remorse as it relates to cheating or anything else "wrong" that they do in life, while others are much more mindful.
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