A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i'm married and so is he but we have been seeing each other for 4yrs i dont think its all about sex cause a lot of time we can stay together and do nothing i just want to know can this man have feelings for me and do he even care about me but we have never told each other how we feel about one another so please help me out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Just finally tell him how you feel and see where it goes from there.
I sense that you are afraid to reveal your feelings and desire to be with him in case he doesn't feel the same or he does but for whatever reason will not leave his marriage. You would prefer to stay in the dark than to know the painful truth, if indeed that is the truth. But who knows maybe he would feel the same as you. You will never know unless you make the first move.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Read about affairs, why they happen, why they stay happening, and look at your marriage carefully, and at yourself carefully.
It almost never only about sex, the sex is incidental to all the other shit.
However, this isn't good for you.
It is unfair to your spouse.
It is unfair to the other spouse.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (2 November 2010):
I'm a bit confused. You're married so presumably you've made a promise to be with your husband, yet you have broken that promise and are living a lie for 4 years. Sex or no sex, what you're doing is unquestionably wrong. Shouldn't you deal with this problem that you're living this double life, before wondering what this other mans feelings are for you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): i think he does care. And you two make eachother happy right? But the question in my head is, why has it already been 4 years? If you want to be with him, you will have to tell him. You have to be with the person you love. If your husband isn't making you happy then why are you still with him? Explain to your lover that you care about him. If you don't then you will never know how he feels about you. Make the first move. Put yourself first. But there may be a chance that your lover will not leave his wife. And if thats the case, then you should stop the relationship. I hope everything works out for you. And i hope you make a decision thats going to make you happy.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 He's right where he wants to be.
If he cared about you or loved you, he would have said something in 4 years- he certainly wouldn't be happy with you still being with your husband if it was more than just sex.
He may care for you as a friend as you've clearly spent a fair bit of time together, but that's why they call it "FRIEND with benefits".
There is absolutely no hope of progressing to anything more with him.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 It's never all about sex it's always about gratification. Obviously neither of you are getting what you need out of your respective marriages or you would have never looked twice at each other. This can go nowhere that is good.
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