A
female
age
41-50,
*oolcheese
writes:It's unethical to get involved in an affair but many people do and then some typical outcomes may happen from there. Some questions on these outcomes and which of them are considered more or less ethical/moral:(note: I'm referring to long-term affairs with one other person, i.e. a 'relationship' with another person involving feelings, not promiscuity like random one night stands that are just about sex)If a man is carrying on a long term affair with another woman and really has feelings for her but still does not leave his wife even when the other woman asks him to. Does that mean he is "committed" to his wife because he did not leave her?Another question: which of the following situations is the least to most unethical:If he were to leave his wife for the other woman?If he were to stay with his wife but continue carrying on his affair in secret?Quit the affair and stay with the wife out of guilt but forever be secretly regretful and always wishing he was with someone else (and not telling the wife any of these thoughts)?Another question: if a man is having a long term affair and the woman gives him the ultimatum to choose either her or the wife. And he chooses the wife so the other woman leaves him thus ending the affair. Is this man "honorable" (as far as cheaters go) because he chose his wife in the end? Or is he dishonorable because he didn't choose of his own accord but only when forced and if not forced he would have been happy to carry on with both for as long as possible?is there such a thing as one action being MORE unethical than another even though both are still unethical? Or is it black and white - an action is either completely ethical, or it's completely unethical?
View related questions:
affair, one night stand Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): @sageoldguy: well, when people are executed by the law, it is considered more ethical to do it in a way that causes the least suffering (lethal injection, etc.)
And considering that many people do consider capital punishment as MURDER, and yet many other people do not, your grounds for dismissing the questions at hand from the original poster (are there gradations of ethics? - you say NO and thus dismiss the OP) is questionable.
I will attempt to seriously consider the OP's questions (not just dismiss them):
I think that what is "more" ethical in an already UN-ethical situation, is to limit the suffering caused to others.
Therefore, I think that IF the wife is unable to survive without the husband - for example she has never worked outside the home thus has no employable skills and depends entirely on his income; then the "least" ethical thing is to leave her for the other woman, and it is "more" ethical for him to quit the affair and stay out of guilt even if it means that he hates his wife forever.
However, if the wife can get along without him (she is able to work, she is mentally healthy and won't commit suicide if he left her) - then it is "more" ethical for him to leave her to be with the other woman so as to be honest to her face rather keeping secrets from her (whether that be continuing the affair or hating her) for the rest of her life.
How's that for a start?
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 I think perhaps we are stretching a point here to talk of honour and ethics but the only proper way to conduct an affair is for any married parties involved to make it 100% clear on day one, at the very outset, that there is no possibility of them leaving their husband / wife, ever. Once that door is shut forever an affair has a chance to be what it should be, something which enriches the lives of those involved, something that takes work and imagination, something delicate, beautiful and finite, something that makes our hearts pump and our minds work overtime. What it should not be is a tawdry prelude to the next marriage, a kind engagement whilst still in the previous marriage.
...............................
|
