A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for almost a year. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks before the wedding. We are 21 (me) and 23 (him). We both felt ready for marriage but the baby came as quite the surprise. An accident but not a mistake. Anyways, my husband has suffered from major depressive disorder for about 7 years and when I was around 6.5 months pregnant, he began to have a major depressive episode. Things have been awful since then. On top of having a new baby I'm dealing with all of the crap that comes along with a depressed man. Self destructive behavior, irritability, extreme selfishness, etc. So I have been worried for him but keeping a bit of distance to escape the emotional torture he inflicts upon me but I have been supportive. I went to use his phone one morning and saw he had a new text. I read it. It was an extremely graphic and filthy sexual message from another woman.... long story short, he says there was nothing more than the dirty messages. once the messages started getting suggestive he said he encouraged it but never said he wanted to be with her or anything. Whatever... I feel so disgusted. I don't know what to do. I believe he didn't sleep with her...yet...it doesn't matter the trust is already gone. Help?
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male
reader, benefattore  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Yeah, he needs professional help...
But there are no excuses from the text messages. If he is having a problems or doubts in your relationship, he should have gone to you about his worries.
This happens a lot when (no offense) wives gain weight after pregnancy and POSSIBLE the sex drive goes down.
You two need to communicate, and if he refuses, get him to go to counseling with you. If he still refuses, he doesnt want help, and he is a waste of your time.
Good luck. Kids are not a just reason to keep a relationship going. It's healthier to find a good father figure than a bad one.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Is he getting medical treatment for his depression?
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