A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just recently found out my boyfriend has cheated on me.We have split up but i really want him back.He says that he doesn't know who he loves me or her.I know im acting stupid and should try and forget about him but i cant.I think i love this man and i just cant get him out my head.I've started worrying about my appearance more and im spending more time on make-up,getting dressed etc.I really dont know what to do he has really hurt me but deep down i love him.thanks for your help xx
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female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 Hi, We all at one time or another, feel that we just have to be with a certain person, because we care so much about them. But think about this please, does it not matter that they care about you as well, and not just themselves. I feel it is a matter of respect towards your partner that you try not to sleep with another individual while you are in a relationship. Now why, pray tell, do you want someone back, who cheated on you, so that he can do it again, do you enjoy pain? I am serious, the only way I would want someone back who cheated on me, is if they were going to get counseling, and guess what, he won't because he doesn't think he has a problem. What you are saying, is in essence, come back to me, because I don't deserve any better than you. Where did your self-esteem go? You were right to break up with him, why not find his other former girlfriends and see what they tell you about his behavior, think there might be a pattern? i am no expert, but I never believe that people cheat in a vacuum, they've done it before, they like the conquering thing. Remember our President, who had such a problem? They need help, if they would admit it. Don't put yourself in the position of an enabler. Cry if you wish, crawl up in a fetal position, as my sister does sometimes, when she doesn't want to deal with the world. But let the man go on his way, to cheat on someone else.
Dig down in your core and find that internal fortitude, you deserve respect. We only love people because we make them bigger than life, but if they don't deserve that, then why would they be worth your love. After you get over this cheating man, and please do, try to find a man who respects women, someone who will not find it so hard to be true.
You will be better off, one thing to be sure, you should be happy, he was not your husband, cheaters cause you grief, and most of the time they don't care, if they can get away with it, they will. This is the only time you knew that he cheated, would that you could find the other women, he has been with. I may be wrong, but i don't think so. One more question, did he have a girlfriend when you met him? Big question. Take care and think about what you are wishing for, someone who wants to use you for a doormat, and always beg your forgiveness, don't fall for it. You surely deserve better than nothing. Take care and be good to yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): You should try to forget him.He doesn't know what he wants,
he can't be trusted and he broke your heart.Do you really
want to risk going through that again?He's not worth your
time.Find someone else.wish you the best.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): Sweetie...You deserve so much more than what you are getting. If he truly loved, and respected you, he would not have doodled around on you. Why wait on him, to make up your mind? You need to decide what is best for you, and your life....Do you want to live with this uncertainty for the rest of your life? If not, then find a man who loves you as much as you do them.
~~The GabberJack
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