A
female
age
51-59,
*mber1205
writes:I am in love with a man and he is really good to me. However, I cheated on him and he was always working and not making any time for fun with me. I am pregnant and wondering if I should tell my husband? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): I agree the husband has to be told. Even if you think you can fool him about a baby right now, you probably can't fool him forever as a child grows & develops for 18 years, and laws & medical issues get more complicated, etc.
Sooner or later IT WILL COME OUT if this child isn't his. Better that he hears it from you right now than finding out from a doctor or something after he's raised the child for 10 or 15 years. You owe it to your husband and you owe it to your unborn child. (If you choose to keep the baby to term and raise him/her yourself, which you very well may not want to.)
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 You have to tell your husband. He may even be suspicious , especially if he does the maths and realises he cant possibly be the father.
You should also have a check up for STD's as the unprotected sex might have given you something else other than a pregnancy.
You may have to prepare yourself for your husband reacting rather badly - you did after all cheat AND have un-protected sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): You have got yourself into a right mess haven't you!?
I don't have any sympathy for women like you I am sorry.
It is your husband who needs to make decision, you already made yours. You also seem pretty comfortable with the decisions you have made about your marriage.
Oh, oops I got pregnant. Was that your husbands fault as well?
You need to fess up girl, you now have a child to bring up and possibly alone, unless of course your lover might be prepared to stick by you, but your husband, whom I presume is the one in the post that is 'really good to me' needs the truth. Tell him what you have been up to, you at least owe him that before you start to show!
I just don't get women like you!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Is there a question about the paternatiy of the child? If so, you had better tell your husband, and get some information on the other guy who might be the father.
The paternaty laws are changing right now, and women can now be sued for fraud if they pass the bastard child as the husbands and then collect child support.
Tell your husband, and plan to have a DNA test done if this is the case.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, stuartb  +, writes (18 October 2007):
 by hiding the truth your lieing to him, he will find out that is enevable (see my story) but people have the most amazing ability to forgive when they know your being honest with them, This gives you a chance to show that your staing side by side and he has the opertunity to support you at a time whgen you need him most, I would get an STI check thou just to be safe.
S.x
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (18 October 2007):
 I think you should. If you don't and he finds out later it'll be MUCH worse!
If you tell him now about the mistake, maybe you two can work out the problems in your relationship and mend it. It gives him time and his right to decide if he wants to raise a child not his own.
Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Hang on - I'm confused. The man you say you're in love with & cheated on --- is that your husband?
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A
female
reader, Lila +, writes (18 October 2007):
 You have to tell him,if nothing else thats one of those really bad kinds of secrets that eats at your stomache and totally consumes you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Yep, you need to tell your husband. You made the mistake by cheating on him, it's up to you to own that mistake, take responsibility for the mistake and own up to it. It's not right to continue in a marriage, with this behavior without coming clean about what you did.
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