A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My (ex) girlfriend and I were together for two months. In that time I fell in love with both her and her kids, and I've never been happier.That changed two weeks ago when she cheated on me. She met a co-worker's son to help him through a tough time, and he showed up with flowers. She said she knew it was a date right there, but didn't stop it. They flirted, kissed, he went down on her, and she stayed the night at his place. We were supposed to hang out that night, and she never showed up.She confessed everything the next day, and I said we could try to rebuild, but she won't cut this guy out of her life. She told me she needed to break up and get space, since she's recently divorced, but still loves me and wants to be with me when she's ready. She wants me to wait for her and be her best friend while she does what she needs to do. She still sees him, I'm trying to be friends with her and wait for her till she's ready to come back, but she's constantly blowing me off or lying to me. She comes back and apologizes and is sorry for what she does. The other day we ended up in bed, and half way through she told me she felt like she was cheating on the guy she cheated on me with.I can't get it out of my head that she's sincere when she apologizes, however. I can't stay mad at her. I love her. I know two months is easy to disregard, but I really am in love with her, and I'm not the kinda person that falls head over heels for someone fast at all. She doesn't stop, however, and just last night she blew me off again. I don't know what to do. Can it still work? Am I stupid for waiting for her? Can I get through to her and help her? Should I be done with the whole thing and move on? I have different answers to those questions every five minutes, I'm really mixed up, and would really like some advice from people outside the situation.
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best friend, cheated on me, co-worker, divorce, fell in love, flirt, flowers, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): i am so glad you have taken the aunts and uncles advice here. good luck. happy that you realised you deserved better. and you will get better. please do not (i repeat do not) be tempted to get back with this "woman". she will mess up your life and she will excuse her behaviour. let her enjoy the start of the end of her life. at least you won't be around for that. she deserves all she will get . well thats that. head up and enjoy the rest of your life without the manipulative loose witch
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): Thanks to everyone for your responses.
After reading a few responses I went ahead and told her I was done with all this and I deserve better than this. Last night I went out with a bunch of friends, and I've got plans to get out tonight and this whole weekend. I'm already feeling better.
Again, thanks to everyone for helping me get perspective, it was a good kick in the pants and it's helped more then you know. I'm really glad I found this site :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): You sir, are a disgrace to your gender. You are not even worthy of the rank of man. You are being manipulated by this HARLOT, and she is playing you for a FOOL, a weakling, and using you for emotional, and possibly financial support and saddling you with unneeded drama. Next time she comes over, grow a spine and throw her out with the trash.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): Ditch her, even as a friend. She has issues to work on away from you. There's absolutely no purpose in reasoning with this woman. Let another sucker deal with her, she'll end up doing the same thing to him.
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (8 July 2009):
 For the love of all things holy, get some self-respect and show this woman the door! She is walking all over you and stringing you along for all your worth. Can't you see this woman has more respect for a used tampon than she does for you. Don't be this woman's friend. Show her the door and never speak to her again. Trust me when you get out from under this manipulative relationship, you will realize how stupid it was to put up with the crap that she has shovelled down your throat for so long.She's already turned you into a cuckold. Its only going to get worse from here.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): it's been only two months, she certainly doesn't see you as more than a friend
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): Two words, Dump her!! Dude obviously she likes that other guy way more than she likes you, if at all. Cutting you off during sex is a huge no-no. I think you should drop her like a hot coal because you'll end up getting hurt more and more, since you said she won't stop seeing or thinking about that other dude.Go out and meet someone new. and Look out, She may wanna keep you around her just in case the other guy doesn't work out. Don't give her that privilege. Women love to keep someone from their past as their little self-esteem boost. Not too long ago I went through the same crap. She was still in love with her ex-boyfriend, who kept texting her throughout our relationship. eventually she left me for him. she still calls about twice a week but I never pick up the phone and she won't give it up. I wont be used as nobody's backup plan and you shouldn't either. She might wanna keep you around as her "close male friend" don't accept that either, because the only thing she'll want to talk about is that other guy, do you really wanna stay and hear your woman talk about other guys?Remember you don't have to stay mad at her forever, you'll meet someone else who'll be worthy of your time and effort. Just be indifferent towards her, and trust me she might still wanna keep you around, just ignore her, and show her you mean business.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 July 2009):
 I'm really sorry that you're being used like this. And yes, I do mean being used. She's basically treating you like an accessory. It's not normal to cheat on someone after just two months, and it's not normal to ask you to wait around while she gets to party and date other people. You're too good for that.
I know it is hard, and I really feel bad for you being stuck in this situation, but you have to let her go. Tell her when she feels like she is ready for a relationship with you that she can give you a call. Until then, you have to go on and live your life. No falling back in bed together. No long midnight chats. Commit to wanting all of a woman in your life and don't settle for a couple of moments here and there when she feels like it.
Good luck.
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