A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi - A guy I had a slight crush on a couple of years ago, bumps into me recently in a busy city centre. We hadn't seen each other for a couple of years but chatted away like good friends. I desperately want him to keep in touch with me (we have each other's work email addresses) and have said as much to him on previous occasions and also this latest time. I know deep down I am probably not his type as he has never made a move on me and would have made more of an effort to stay in touch if he wanted to, but I just can't help thinking this was fate bringing us together. I have tried to get over my feelings for him and was doing well to put him out of my mind, but this chance meeting has just rekindled the old feelings again.What should I do?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 July 2021):
 What should you do? I would advise accepting that, much as you may be drawn to him, he obviously does not feel the same way about you, otherwise he would not have ignored so many chances to do something about it. While you are crushing over him, you are putting your life on hold.
This does not mean he dislikes you but rather that he does not see you as being right for him. Don't put your life on hold for someone who is not on the same page as you. You can't force these things. He's had his chances. Accept he is not for you and let go of your fascination with him. You deserve someone who is as much into you as you are into them.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (19 July 2021):
 I agree with the other aunts, this was not fate but pure chance.
I feel things would have blossomed between the pair of you a long time ago if he truly had feelings for you, and would certainly have made more of an effort to stay in touch.
Maybe just for your peace of mind maybe give him one more text or email and ask him if he want to do something.
If you don't get a reply, or get a reply that is vague, or distant then time to forget about him and walk away. But at last you can walk away with your head held up high knowing you tried one last time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2021): You have to be careful about allowing your imagination to get the better of you. You'll create fantasies and false-scenarios in your mind that will blur the lines of reality; and you'll develop your feelings based on imaginary signals and wishful-thinking.
I agree with Honeypie, see this for what it is; by chance, you've run into each-other.
This is a small world, and you'll just happen to cross paths from time to time. I was at a retirement party just last night, it was at a lovely Irish pub in another town. I ran into an old-friend I haven't seen for the last three-four years. I hadn't heard from this person in so long; that I deleted his phone number from my contacts. He's a nice person, but too much of a gossip and quite nosy. I didn't exchange numbers, because we have mutual-friends; and I know we'll cross paths again.
Loneliness and a craving for love will activate neediness. It's best to be careful, because there is a gap in time since you've been in-touch; and you have no idea how life may have changed him in that stint of time. If he never showed romantic-interest; keep your expectations in neutral.
Don't be pushy or desperate. Allow things to happen naturally. Without prompting from daydreams and fantasies that will initiate attachment without reciprocity. Infatuation is beneath your maturity and dignity. That will hurt your feelings and cause humiliation. It's okay to encourage his contact, just curb your enthusiasm and keep both feet on the ground.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 July 2021):
 It was chance, not fate.
Why do I say that? Because if you have known him for a long time and NOTHING has come of it, nothing probably will.
Why would you "torture" yourself by keeping in touch with someone you had/have a crush on who is not interested in you? Why not just accept that he is lovely but not a match for you? And consider while you spend time and energy on him, you might not notice someone who IS interested in you. You might miss out on finding a good match.
It's unrequited feelings you have. A crush. Nothing more. Crushes come and go. You know he isn't into you. Don't do that to yourself. Find someone who WANTS to get to know you, who WANTS to be a part of your life. This guy isn't it.
Want more for yourself. Be good to yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2021): It's not fate. If he was interested in meeting up, he probably would have done by now. If you want to give it one last try then send him a message and ask of he fancies meeting up for a longer catch up. If he makes excuses then leave it and move on.
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