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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I wonder how much our life effected by chance,and how muchon our choices?Right now I think chance is more dominant ,than choice. Like a bad marriage I live in, can determine your life for years, and if you have children ,its not easy to get out, and it can put you in long term suffering. What if you also have a disabeled child, so its even harder. So you never made that choice, so you have to live with it again. What if you get sick on the top and lose your job?Than you really are on a bad place.So it started with a choice, but the rest was not in your hand.So how can we still say, life is a choice? And we are in controll? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (28 May 2009):
 if you fancy think of it this way on one hand we have a choice and on the other we have chance fate gives us a choice and destiny gives us a chance but we choose what fate gives us and we can take a chance if destiny gives us one. but at the end of the day we always have a choice and we always choose what we do. you got a chance to get married you got a chance to have kids you choose to take those chances. as for the disabled child that was fate did you know before it was born it was disabled ? if so then that was choice again. you still have choices and chances but dont blame them for your bad discion making. you can do what ever you want but their is always consequences to our choices which leaves us with more chances to take. you are in control and you still make choices in your life you choose not to! aphex xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): The marriage was a choice and so were having children, that's like 95% of your life, right? The disabled child was chance.
Some sickness is caused by bad diet and how you choose to be healthy or not healthy so a lot of that is choice.
I would say most of your life is about the choices you make and then you have to live with those choices so there is a lot in your control.
You have a choice every day on how to treat your marriage too. The only things that are really chance are things like natural disasters, company lay offs, freak accidents, etc.
It's easier to think chance is more dominant because then you don't have to be accountable for your choices.
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