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anonymous
writes: I've been telling lies to my husband regarding financial matters and now he has found out.( he already knew a little). He spent 3 nights at work and I want him to come home, what do I do? I have apologised and told him we will do it his way, but he is not convinced?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): he is not convinced because you have lied to him, possibly not for the first time.
you can look for help to get to the root of why you are not honest in your relationship.
you need to seek help in order to know how to manage your finances.
Even then it will be difficult for him, as this issue is one of trust and honesty in the relationship, which when lost is very difficult to get back.
I wish you the best, good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): I leid to my husband about money also. It took a few weeks of us arguing and me making him understand why and that I was sorry. My husband wanted me back and I returned home. We are trying to work through it now. My husband told me after 15 years married he loved me and he knew that he loved me enough to make it work and he said that trust can always be rebuilt. I learnt a hard lesson on this and wouldn't do it again. My husband know deals with all financal things and I prefer this. I hope it works out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2005): This has obviously been a lot for him to take on board. Perhaps he needs a bit of time to sort out how he feels about you lying to him and why you lied. Let him know that you are sorry and that when he feels ready to talk you will be waitting for him. Try not to pressure him. You have hurt him and he may need time for that to heal.
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A reader, Arawn, writes (15 February 2005): He may need time to himself to get his head together. Realising that someone you care about has been lying to you about anything can be like having a rug pulled out from under your feet. He, as you and I do, goes through stresses everyday, be it work or whatever that's part of life and we gain a balance in our own heads. You have just knocked him off balance. A huge stress, wrt money, trust, loved on in need of help (as you probably are) is quite a demand to suddenly have been dropped at your feet. He may feel that he has all that to clear up as well as the stuff in his 'in-tray' at work. It is just more pressure!Let him know, maybe by email or something, that you appreciate that he needs to have time to himself to work stuff out in his OWN head but you need his support too and he knows where to find you.It is a tricky situation, just don't give him to many demands on top of how he is feeling. Give him time.Best of luck
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