A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 7 months now, and everything is great. We just seem to go together perfectly, and he is a brilliant dad to his little son, who is 15 months old. He and his ex had a really bad break up before his son was born and for the first few months of his life, my boyfriend had to fight to see him at all. She is still quite nasty to him, and he isn't innocent either in the rows they have but just recently it seems to be around me a lot. I have a house share with my best friend and her sister, so when I want to spend time with my boyfriend it just makes it easier to go to his house, rather then upsetting my house-mates. My best friend works nights, so it's just an agreement we all had that if we could, be out of the house while she sleeps during the day. Well recently my boyfriend has had his son every weekend, all day Saturday and then until 4pm on a Sunday. Normally I would go round around lunchtime on a Sunday and we would go out for a walk, or a coffee. Nothing much really, just so I could see my boyfriend for a few hours on the weekend. I didn't think it was anything bad, but his ex is now saying if she sees me pushing his pram again, she will stop all access my boyfriend has. It's so silly, she saw just walking up the street, and I was pushing the pram but I wasn't claiming him as my own son or anything, I get she might be upset but it was only being nice. I adore their son and I wouldn't want to upset her. I said sorry but she just flew off the handle, and pushed me away from the pram and walked off into her garden. I wasn't there so I don't know what was said but my boyfriend followed her into the house and they had a row about it. I didn't meet my boyfriend this weekend, but now he is upset with me for letting her win. He says that her new partner lives with his son and his girlfriend can't even be there when he has him over. I get what he is saying but I don't want to be the cause of a row.I've upset both of them, by trying to be nice, and I don't understand what I have done so wrong.
View related questions:
best friend, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 Sweetie you didn't do anything wrong. You can tell from your post you are a good person, you are just caught in a messy situation. The thing is you and your boyfriend are only going out seven months, therefore it might be a bit soon for you to be spending time with his son. However your boyfriend is also right she has her partner live with her and his son. She cannot have it both ways. The baby is still very young but no parent should use there child as a weapon, and that is what this woman is doing. You have apologized to her now leave it at that.
You and your boyfriend should still have a relationship off course, but he needs to also see that it is not about letting her win, it is about respecting the mother off his child. You are doing the right thing allowing him to spend time alone with his child, maybe give it time before talking to the babies mother again about you hanging out when the baby is with your boyfriend. But something tells me she is out to make his life difficult which means that this may never get any easier for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2016): You should not even have met his kid yet.It should be at least two years before that happens.What do you think happens when parents bring so in and out of a kids life?How will it affect the kid.Take a small step back and let him parent.The week end visits are for the kid not you.I feel so bad for this kid as his dad is put ting his own needs above the needs of his kid.Bad parenting
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2016): You are caught up in a messy situation. I dated a guy with a five and seven year old child and it doesnt get any easier. The mother lived with her boyfriend but was jealous of me spending time with her boys. This is a young baby here. If you really love him then try and make it work by standing back and letting him and his ex sort this out. It sounds like a lot of hassle though. Its up to you if you think its worth it....
...............................
|
