A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, this might be long but please help me out.Around august of last year some guy friend requested me on facebook. He wasnt just a random because we had about 45 mutual friends and he lives a few towns(15 minutes) away from me. Anyways I accepted his friend request and in September he sends me a message saying how beautiful I am and how he would love to take me out and treat me like a princess. I laughed at that message and thought "what a cheesy pickup line". For the next 2 months he was non stop poking me and liking occasional pictures I was posting up. I decided to finally give into him and messaged him back. We spoke briefly then he gave me his number. Since November of 2011 we have been talking. I hung out with him 2 times and it was fun. We were making out, going to lunches/dinner, and just had amazing conversations. I wasnt going to have sex with him because I am not the typical dumb broad. Because if this he showed interest in me even more. He said I am different and was like a diamond in the rough for him. He is 28 years old and I am 22. All this attention was great especially after I had broken up with my boyfriend that summer. We continued to talk everyday but then I just started getting busy with school and actually got back together with my ex. During this time I just never really answered him and we kind of stopped talking. In July of 2012(this year) the guy left me a facebook comment for my birthday. I texted him saying thank you then we started talking minimal conversation and he was saying how much he missed talking to me etc. I never really gave into it to much because of my boyfriend. Anyways at the end of July I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me and then moved onto another girl so quickly so we broke up once again. In August I decided to speak to this guy again since 1. he was in the picture and 2. we spoke before so might as well just speak again.I told him what happen(not all the details) and he told me he was sorry that it happened to me but happy that he can see me again. From that day he was texting me sweet messages saying I deserve to be treated like a queen and not like a piece of dirt like my ex treated me and he would do anything for me to make me feel good.The text that stood out to me the most and I would like your opinion on it was this.... He asked me to drive and see him because he just wanted to kiss me. I said I am not going to drive to your town just to kiss you and he got upset and said "I would drive 6 hrs just to kiss you" I in return said I wouldnt believe that unless we were dating for like 2 years. Then I explained to him how I am just this way now because of the times I got hurt recently. His answer was beautiful to me and I know he wasnt bull shitting but this was his reply back...."I hear ya babe but youve been dealing with a liar and scumbag so im terribly sorry you feel that way since i understand where you are coming from"Then I said if we hang out on Saturday I dont want him to stop talking to me after because usually if guys have sex with you then they dont care and are on to the next one. He then said..."umm def not it if you do remember last time we were talking it was u who stopped getting back to me and answering me so if anything I should be the one who is skeptical. its not fair for you to put that on me of think of me like that"I then apologized and said sorry then he says.."its okay I just expect you to give me the benefit of the doubt until I fuck up or really give you a reason to not believe me, cause as of right now ive tried to do nothing but right by u babe"In my opinion it is very obvious from his texts and everything that he is really interested in me and really wants me to give him a chance.Anyways last Saturday we finally hung out. He picked me up after work and we drove to his beach house and spent the night. It was great. We laughed, drank a little, walked on the beach, spoke all night and had sex. That was the first time we had sex with eachother. Anyways the whole time we were there he was saying how happy he was and couldnt believe that I was actually finally with him. Even the whole car ride he had his hand on my leg rubbing it not in a perverted way but a caring way. It made me feel like weve been going out for so long. IT made me feel happy. We came back the next day Sunday and on Monday he sent me a text saying how he was so happy we got to hang out saturday night finally. I told him I had a wonderful time too. Anyways since Monday I just feel the conversations were lacking.From texting me everyday and being so interested and intrigued telling me things, it went to a measley fart conversation. He doesnt talk much and I feel like I was starting the conversation. This was very strange to me because If he didnt care and just wanted to have sex, he wouldnt have said all the stuff I mentioned prior or wouldnt even bother texting me monday saying how much he enjoyed our time together. I just feel like it went from something to a little nothing after the weekend, but still it is confusing because we had a wonderful time and he kept saying it too.The other day I texted him after not speaking to him for 2 days(unusual because we talk all the time almost) and said Thinking about you. He texted back and said hello love, and said right away when are you seeing me next. I said if he wants he can come over my house tonight and Ill cook for us and we can hang. He said he wasnt going to be in town but he will be home tommorow. I said okay let me know. He said I would love to come over. It sounds like a plan. He put a smiley face at the end of that and i replied back now im happy. Then he replied back with 3 smiley kissy faces.The day after roles around and he isnt texting me. Usually he would and it is bothering me so I texted him in the morning and he replies back like40 minutes later which is unusual. HE said he couldnt make it for dinner but would like to come out to see me if it isnt to late and hes not tired. I said well if he is unsure I will make other plans but would love to see him soon. HE said okay and said we should make plans next week. That night I saw he was out with his friends posting pictures on facebook. I really dont care what he does because I am not his girlfriend but YES after the weekend at the beach house and all the texting I definitely caught feelings for him.I know it doesnt seem like there is anything wrong but I feel like our conversations were so intense going at a speed of 90mph to now 20mph. If he didnt like me why would he say he had a great time the following day after the weekend.Maybe its just me but I dont want to get hurt again even though I know he made it really clear that he wants me to give him a chance. I dont want to text him just yet but if he doesnt text me after the weekend or next week sometime I want to tell him how I feel but dont know how?Please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me out
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broke up, facebook, got back together, liar, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (22 September 2012):
If YOU want to take it to the next level then you should begin phone conversations and going on dates with him etc. This texting stuff is something that teenagers do.
I cant tell you what he is thinking but...if I were him (assuming I was interested), I'd want to see if you had any change or reactions to wanting a relationship. To me it seems like you are the one calling most of the shots in terms of boundaries.
At the end of it all it just sounds like you want this to go somewhere (like a relationship) so maybe you should talk to him about those things. Or just have some real dates and enjoy each other's company (hopefully it doesn't involve sex) and see what happens.
A
female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 I appreciate he said he had a good weekend but after everything you've said and what he's been like after i'm unsure he is actually wanting anything relationship wise from you.I mean he keeps saying about hanging out but if he just saying that because he wants sex from you or does he actually want to spend time with you?If you look at it how flirty he was with you at the start then after you guys spend a weekend and slept together he's gone cold. I appreciate you've been hurt before and i am not saying anything like this to be nasty this is my honest opinion.He may have led you on because he knew you were a bit hard to get. At first you didn't message him and then you got with your ex boyfriend so he seen it as a challenge then you gave into him and things didn't plan out with your ex so he was happy he got to talk to you but then you guys slept together and then all of a sudden he can't see you for a meal and stuff.You need to decide what it is you want to do. I suggest you move on and don't give him the benefit of the doubt i think you deserve a lot more than this in your life right now. You're very vulnerable after the way your ex was towards you and i feel he knew you were vulnerable.Chin up.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 September 2012):
 I suggest you pick up the phone and talk to him. Carrying on a relationship through text seems "lazy" to me.
Could be that he isn't really interested in a relationship, you won't really know til you two and figure out what you BOTH want out of it.
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