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Catholic girls are supposed to be saints, but I have ended up getting pregnant at 15

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2010) 16 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *exi2010 writes:

Ok im 15 and pregnant.. But Im also Bi.. but Idk what I should do.. because I was raised to be a Catholic girl... Catholics are supposed to be "saints". I need advise, but dont need to be judged.. Please help?

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (20 February 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntThat sucks that your parents are pushing you away like that. It isn't right, and I hope that you have someone close to you in your life in whom you can confide.

You can always talk to use here, but I'm worried about you. Do you have someone in your life who is adult who ise there for you? An uncle or gran, maybe? Are you getting proper prenatal care? Have you been to the doctor?

That poster is right when he says that the adults in your life need to be giving you support and guidance.

Good luck. You WILL get through this!!

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntLexi, I know your parents haven't acted well to you or your sister. But here you have friends, your a young girl that made a mistake and your desperately trying to do the right thing. Come and talk about whatever bothers you. Serrina is right, some people behave badly, put that is nothing to do with you. Don't let them drag you down with their petty thoughts and attitude. Before you make any decisions, please go and talk to the people at planned parenthood, the address is on the internet. They will show you all the options, and will explain to you the advantages and disadvantages for each one. Adoption is a good choice, is it right for you, I don't know, that's why I would prefer you to talk to someone who won't force you to do anything and won't judge you. Take care honeypie.

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A female reader, Lexi2010 United States +, writes (18 February 2010):

Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Lexi2010 agony auntSirena-

I agree with u 100%.

My parents know about me being pregnant.. but they dont know about me being Bi-sexual.. I`ve tried to talk to them about it.. but they just push me away.. I`m gunna make them come to my school.. then they will have to listen...

Im thinking about putting the baby up 4 adoption.. because thats wats best for the baby...

Im glad I have ppl who understand wat Im going through..

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (18 February 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntSteve says that you're not practising the religion, but I don't think it's necessarily true.

All Christians believe that EVERYONE commits sins. I'm not sure if you're a practising Catholic or not, but if no one ever committed sins, then what's the point of confessions? People that go to confession obviously committed sins but they're still practicing.

I agree with Mianmine... no human is perfect and if you are still Catholic you need to pray for forgiveness and for help and guidance. God won't turn away from you just because you made a mistake. I'm sure that you have people that love you. If your parents are in the picture, have you gotten them involved? You need to tell an adult about this.

It's true that you made a mistake, but everyone commits sins.

Sadly, it IS true that religion is often abused by others. I have seen MANY people (Catholic and Protestant) who CLAIMED to be Christians and who sure didn't act like it at all. I don't just mean they committed sins. Everyone does that. I mean people who committed spiritual sins, as in, they judged others, they used their social position to bully others, they acted un-Christlike and preached hate, not love.

I used to be a Christian, and I was really devoted, but my spirit was just broken by really hurtful, hypocritical people. I was open-minded though, and I would NEVER have condemned someone for being gay, or for having sex.

I was raised Baptist- strict Southern Baptist- and not long ago I decided to become a Catholic, and I went to RCIA classes but never finished my confirmation. I encountered horrible role models in both churches. I clarify that not ALL Baptists are like this, it was just one person, but when I was a kid, I had a HORRIBLE role model at church. This person used to teach us hatred for gays and she taught us racism as well. To impressionable children!! I left the Baptist church and became interested in the Catholic church but I was DISGUSTED by some of the leaders at our local parrish. Seriously, if Jesus were alive He would cry to see the horrible way that SOME people who claim to spread the word of God behave.

The sexual sins, although bad, are the LEAST bad of all sins. Unfortunately the consequences for the sinner can be severe.

The WORST sins are the spiritual ones because they drive people away from Christianity.

If people judge you, you can't change their behavior, but don't dwell on the judgement. World's full of assholes.

You have to think of the health of the baby, though. Please be sure you're getting proper prenatal care, IMMEDIATELY. Do your parents know? Do you live with them? Who is your guardian? You need to let an adult know.

I don't like abortion and I'm glad you've decided not to go that route.

We all make mistakes and you will get through this!

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A female reader, Livejust2bJess United States +, writes (17 February 2010):

Livejust2bJess agony auntMy brothers gf is prego and she's also 15 and two of her friends are 15-16 and they have babies she's not a slut cause my brother was her first they say it's hard cause they are still going to school and caring for their newborns all I can say is that having a baby is beautiful but it's hard work you need to go to dr. Tell ur parents your in on a surprise.....

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A female reader, adjc? United States +, writes (17 February 2010):

wow, i can realte to this. i went to a catholic school for 8 years, and then as soon as i hit public i ended up fooling around and have sex. sneaking out trying drug. i think alot of it had to do with being confined and not allowed to express my self. and as soon as i had the chance i just jumped right into it. and now i must work on getting my self out of some seriouly screwd up situations. keep you head up things will turn around, your not alone

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntAs far as I know, your god is pure love, he knows everything and see's everything and he's pure forgiveness.... Sin and punishment is things that human's do, forgive yourself first that's important. God knows what happened and he understands.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

Lexi I am a catholic.We sometimes forget the most important lesson of all-me included.Do not judge and you shall not be judged.

Remember Jesus writing on the sand the sins of all the other people?He didn't judge the woman who was about to be stoned.The Why? is the question you need to ask yourself.Because he knew she was human.I have weaknesses.You have weaknesses.We all do.Some of us tell it out.Some of us don't.He said,"Your sins are forgiven.Go and sin no more".Maybe you were meant to hear this verse from me today.

I am proud of you not because I am a fellow catholic but because you refused to take a life.I am glad you stood up for what you believed in.

Remember:Lots of milk,green veggies an fruits.No pineapple and Papaya.They are not good for the baby.Just keep writing in.

~Mrs.Anon

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A female reader, Lexi2010 United States +, writes (17 February 2010):

Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Lexi2010 agony auntTo caring guy

I Believe, I just feel like I`ve failed god. IDK wat to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

If you are going to be raising a child, you need to place that as the most important thing in your life, not religion. Your days will be busy if you want to take the best care of your child, and so you may find yourself having very little time for anything else, including making it to church every week. That's why faith has to come first inside you, not what type of religion you are. I find the people who have judged me the most in life are those who make it to church every week, and God himself would never judge you the same. Religion can be very restricting rather than freeing, so don't let it get you down. If any fellow Catholic gives you a hard time about it, remind them that they should be issuing you guidance and support instead, and so they themselves are not practicing their faith very well. Mary herself was supposedly that young when she had Jesus, and it was an immaculate conception, with no human man involved, other than just living with Her and helping raise Jesus. If you are raised with religion, then you'll see that this wasn't very different, and there's a lesson for everyone which most religious people miss, in the story of how Jesus came to be. Did people judge Mary for it? People usually judge others because they are worried how it will reflect on them, and ultimately they are only worried about themselves and their image. Make your fellow churchgoers and believers respect you. You can't let people distract you with negativity when raising a child. All that matters is that you try your best to raise your children well in life with what little you may have, and what little people may give you. Find strength through this. You have every potential to gather even more faith through it, so don't feel you are any more of a sinner than the next Catholic who appears perfect, but isn't. They have all sinned, because they are all human. Don't feel you have to throw away your faith or your religion because of any situation. If the church or its people want to judge you then they'll have to answer to God for it, instead.

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A female reader, vamp-gal United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

vamp-gal agony auntHey,

You may be a Catholic but you're also human.

You have to focus on yourself right now. Figure out things such as whether you want to keep the baby, yes you're Catholic but it's your decision not your religions :)

There are many Christians in general who wouldn't judge you. You just need to find someone you trust to talk about things with.

Just take things one step at a time. Do what you think is right.

You should probably talk things over with the father, if you want him involved.

This decision is yours, don't let anyone try and persuade you either way because of their beliefs or wants. Think about what would be best for you and the baby.

Good Luck,

Hope this helps x

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntSorry, my advice is if you are a practising Catholic. If you are not, or are an non-believer (atheist) like me, then you've not sinned. You just should have waited untill you were older. If I remember rightly the contraception let you down. These things happen, such is life.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntHi Lexi, hope things are going well with you and you've made an appointment with your doctor.

Anyway Catholic people are human, and from what I understand, the catholic church knows that people committ sins, it just asks them to try hard not to make mistakes.

But only God and Jesus are perfect, according to the bible, and as far as I know, catholic understanding. All the rest of us are children of Adam and Eve, we are not perfect so we will sin.

Alongside this, God knows all, and God is all forgiveness. God can forgive you if he knows you are sorry for your sin. If you are catholic, I suggest you pray to God and ask him to stand by you and guide you on your path. You cannot hide anything from God, he sees all and knows what's in your heart. If you look at the bible, you will see tons of sinners. Even Jesus had doubts and asked why God had left him to suffer. The disciples ran away in fear. King David had some man killed so he could steal his wife.. Tons of sinners because we are human. Look in your heart, see if you think you should be ashamed of anything and help God to stand by you, forgive you and love you always.

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A male reader, Cowboy255 United States +, writes (17 February 2010):

i kind of agree with called steve but if you want to look at it regiously we are all god's childeren no matter what faith we beleive but in my opinion terminating the pregnancy im not crazy about tthat because you take away a child's right to live to see and feel touch and smell that being will never have another chance to see this world again. but do what you have to do taking care of a child at your age would be rough it would be an enormous burdon to take on but there are things like open adaoption where soemtimes you can get to still see the child and sometimes you can even pick who adaopts them which that wouldn't be as bad.

but god is forgiving we all sin we are not perfect beings everyone has done something against there religion and more than once. do what you feel is right and i wish you the best of luck.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

No one is perfect. You've made a mistake, and at least you're trying to fix it. Religion is often used and abused by others. Don't worry about that. Just speak to a doctor and ask for advice on what you should do from him, or maybe from a counsellor. Don't worry. Speak to a doctor and really think about what you want and what is best for you.

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A male reader, called Steve United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

called Steve agony auntThe idea that Catholics are supposed to be Saints is in your mind...

You did something that Catholics aren't supposed to do, so do another thing and either get the boy to own up to his responsibilities or terminate the pregnancy - you said you were raised as Catholic but you're obviously not practising the religion.

Most Catholics I know are total Hypocrites and use the Religion to suit them when they want it to - I suggest you do the same.

Steve

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