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female
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*oreverlucky
writes: i am in a bit of a dilemma....i am with my boyf 3 years now.. when we first got together we were toegther one month and he cheated on me with an older woman. i forgave him but he then left me for her.. there relationship lasted 2 moonths and then she left him coz he couldn't afford her basically. i then took hime back... everything was going really well but then on the night of his graduation i got really drunk for the first time in my life and his mate took advantage of the situation. we were dancing together and he kissed me.. my boyf saw and ran over and hit him...he forgave me for it though.then a few months later my best mate and him started texting and i trusted them and thought nothing of it. they then started meeting up..... this was going on for a few months and anytime i said i didn't like it but they never listened. he swore i could trust them.. then they went away together for a day.. a few weeks later he told me that they kissed that day and started seeing each other for 2 weeks behind my back but they only kissed...i forgave him once again for it though....it is one year on now and i can't forget it. it totally ripped me apart. i can't forget it but i also can't leave him. i tried to a week ago and met the most amazing guy.. but then my ex kept ringing me and texting me to talk so i went out to talk to him. he was in a mess a total wreck and i turely believe he regrets all he did but i can't forget them no matter how hard i try.i don't know what to do we are now back together again and the other guy is a good mate to me now..i really need advice please..........i am so sorry this is so long thanks to anyone who has read this
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2006): it sounds like this relationship has been rocky, and from my experience, these kind of relationships do not get better. you have to ask yourself "what am i getting from this relationship" if there are more bad things than good, then staying in the relationsip is not a good idea. as girls, we deserve a guy that won't treat us badly. You have to know that you are worth having a happy life, and you deserve a guy that treats you like gold. don't settle for less.
A
female
reader, Clarey +, writes (24 April 2006):
You feel very sad and you know he is not right for you. You will not be the one to save him even though you are special. This is one of those times when you have to let go, whilst recognising that you have cared deeply for him. There is no point in going on. He sees himself as the tragic hero, with all the angst, trying to win you back, remorse, drama and self importance. It is a narcissistic way of living that allows a person to consider themselves irresistable for most of the time and forget other people's feelings. I do apologise if I sound scratchy but I do feel that you instincts are right.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (24 April 2006):
You are young enough to move away from this relationship and be with someone you can trust, you will never be 100% happy with this guy because of the trust issues you have, you can't even trust him with your best mates. He betrayed you in a bad way, and you were humiliated and hurt, understandably.
If you have met someone else who makes you happy and who you trust, finish this relationship, and do something for yourself, make yourself happy, don't rely on him to.
Good luck!
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