A
male
age
36-40,
*rekkusu
writes:So, I wake up this morning after along dream about my ex girlfriend and I. We've been broke up well over a month. She stone cold dropped me and would never fully explain why. Of course I did what I should've never done. I panicked, became desperate and needy, and I also begged. It's not like I meant to do this but I really was deeply in love with this woman. I now realize what I did afterwords, only made things worse. Lesson learned on that front. Never act like that after a breakup again. I think for the most part it was because of her 5 year old kid. Still doesnt make sense. She said that NOONE will get in between her and her child. While we were dating she would say things like, "I'm better with her child than all previous boyfriends and even her own father." I grew quite fond of the child which made the breakup that much more difficult. I guess because there was no 'true' closure. I want to be over her but when I have dreams about her, it kinda makes it hard for me to forget. What do I do? I know you'll say to grow up and move on but I dwell and over-analyze things. It's just a part of who I am. If you need more details feel free to just ask because I really need what help and advice I can get....without getting it professionally. Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know what you are going through. I was seeing a man recently, who was much older than myself ( 23 years older ), for about two months. He only had a part time job at first ( he worked 12 hours a week ), so we saw each other a lot, but then, he got a job working nightshifts too, so now he has to jobs. He stopped contacting me when he got the nightshift job, without saying why. We had a bit of a fall out a couple of weeks before he got the nightshift job, so, because he hasn't told me his reasons why he stopped contacting me, i'm not sure if he stopped because of the arguement we had, or because of him having two jobs and him not having much time for a relationship. He had a lot of financial problems too, and he drinks a lot. His friends told me that he told them that he thinks the world of me, but i don't see how that can be true when he hasnt been decet enough to talk to me about what is on his mind. I haven't heard from him for a couple of months now, but i still really miss him, and have been tearing myself apart, wondering what went wrong.I bumped into him once a few weeks ago, but i didn't have much time to speak to him, as i was going to catch a train.He asked how i had been and i asked him if i had done anything wrong, but he said i hadn't, but didn't talk any further about that. He asked who my uncle and his friend were too, as i was with them at the time, and he didn't know who they were. I'm not sure if he asked because he thought i was going out with one of them, or if he was just being friendly or curious. I've also had dreams about the man i was seeing over the last few nights too, and i have woken up feeling really upset.I think it's really cruel when people don't give closure.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): I would like to say being hung up on someone you truly loved and a child you gave your heart to as well is perfectly fine. Long as your not doing anything weird or stalkerish, which im sure you arnt...but a break up is like losing a loved one. you have to mourn and grieve for that person and only time will lesson the pain. When someone becomes an active part of your life and then one day is gone thats rough. especially if you say you arnt even sure why. you need to let yourself wonder why and feel what it is you need to feel...hurt sad confused hopeful for a reconcilitation. whatever you need to feel to make it thru the day. then one day will be two, then three and so on and eventually you will build a new life without that person and the loss wont seem so bad. But until you are completely over her i wouldnt have any contact with her it will only delay the healing process. miss her, love her, miss the child but learn how to make it through each day without them and find your happiness!!! :)
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