A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How's it goin' ya'll? I've got a few questions, although I'm still pretty new here. Actually, frankly, this is my first question. I have a few inquiries about the sex life both my girlfriend and I enjoy.Well, really, it was being enjoyed, then it just kind of stopped. For the first several months of our relationship, she wanted to abstain from sex, because she was a virgin and wanted it to be meaningful. I respected it, and it was fine. I'm not a virgin, so I know how sex is, when you're in an intimate relationship.The first few times, the sex was great. It was all so perfect. However, one day, a problem came up. The first time we thought it was just a bluff, and it wouldn't happen again. But it did. Yeah, for some reason, I couldn't ejaculate. It's not like it's her fault or anything. It just felt as though all the right motions and things we did build up all the great feelings, however when my roller-coaster of great feelings was just about to go over that awesome hill on the course... it would just hang there. I would always be so close to the grand slam, and then nothing... not like the built-up part would just vanish, but rather, it would just hang there and no matter what I do, I can't progress beyond it.It has happened several times now, and nothing has changed. She gets her little joys out of it, no problem, but for some reason, I just can't all of a sudden.She has asked me, "You think it's not me, and that it's got to be something with you... but I don't think that is... Are you sure you still love me?" But quite honestly, I love this girl to death, and she's the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I am determined to make this relationship between us as good as I can, because the day we graduate from college is the day I'm goin' to marry this girl. I have no doubt in my mind that I am crazy for her. It's not the love, I just don't know what it is. And it's really bothering me.I've talked to one of my extremely close friends that I can really confide in, and he gone suggested that we see what oral sex did for me... Honestly, I was her first... and she's never done oral before. It made for a very interesting first experience with her. No, she didn't mess up, but she felt so awkward giving it a shot, that she didn't know what to do and called her friend right before to make sure she did it right, haha. The point is, that didn't work neither.We really have only had one alone-time together since then, and that was this past weekend (we see eachother only on weekends and breaks because we attend two different universities). That was the night that she questioned me about how much I still love her and what not. Nothing else had changed, unless you take into consideration the 1/2 a bud light can I had... No alcoholic-caused feelings or anything... Not even a buzz. I don't think that was it... but that was the only change, like in a biochemistry way.The end of that night, I ejaculated in two, separate "rounds". It was one hell of a relief to not have to relive that, literally, "dry spell" with her. We haven't had sex since, but I don't want that to be just a fluke. I don't want that inability to 'come' to become another issue with me. I hope I have finally gotten through that obstacle. If ya'll could help me, how do I prevent this from happening? I've gone read "maybe you should not masturbate, or maybe you should" among other advice. I've tried it all, and none of it has really done nothin' to overcome it. I've turned to practically every source I could find on the net about this to no avail.I don't know if it's a factor much here, however we do not practice with a condom. I know, for most unmarried (and still in school) couples, it wouldn't be smart... however, we both know eachother is safe, and I also have a genetic disorder that makes me infertile. It has been tested several times, and the results are solid... there's no question that I am not. I don't know if it's a factor, but I'm just saying...I'm sorry about the length of the message, but I'm just tryin' to make it as broad and informed-completely. Thank you in advance for your responses.
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alcoholic, condom, ejaculate, my ex, oral sex, sex life, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Who +, writes (19 April 2009):
 It happens to most guys sooner or later. Usually no reason why and no reason why the problem goes away. So just relax.
Tell you girl friend almost all men can and will perform with a woman they do not love, how else could their be prostitutes and one night stands? So it is not about her or you feelings for her.
There was dance hit recorded before you were born by the group "Frankie Goes to Hollywood" called "Relax." might want to find an MP3 of it, if you like that sort of thing. It pretty much tells you what to do in this situation.
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