A
female
age
30-35,
*anaxx
writes:Hi,I'm a 21 year old female. I'm healthy, fit, have a great sex drive.. my problem is i can't orgasm with my boyfriend.. whether it be during sex, oral sex, touching, ANYTHING.. but i can orgasm when i masturbate alone. I've always owned my own vibrator, which works for me everytime i'm alone. I decided to introduce it to our relationship, and it doesn't matter how we try to use it, i feel pleasure, but never get to the point of climax. We've gone out and bought better vibrators, and still they don't even work.I've been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years, and i feel it's starting to put stress on the sexual side of our relationship as he feels bad for not being able to make me orgasm, even though i tell him it's not his fault, he just still feels bad. I've never been able to orgasm with any boy, always just by myself. Sex with my boyfriend has always been great, but i find that i'm always wanting to just pleasure him. It's only been lately we've started to spend along time on trying to get me to cum. I make sure i'm relaxed, and it does feel good, i tingle and everything but never reach climax, i feel that the longer we try for, the more frustrated i become, then i start to feel selfish for spending so much time on me and it usually ruins the mood. I hate feeling this way because i love him very much so the last thing i want to do is upset him. Could it just be a mental thing??? Any suggestions will be fine, i just really want an answer.
View related questions:
oral sex, orgasm, sex drive, vibrator Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Hi!
Yes, I would say this is purely psychological. Try to not make the goal of intimacy orgasm and rather focus on the small little sensations you get. I think because youre setting this goal youre putting pressure on yourself when you shouldnt. Keep in mind the goal of sexual contact is not orgasm but indeed just pleasure. Orgasm should be considered bonus and if both of you are feeling pleasure, do not be ashamed. Be a little more patient and things will turn out well :)
|
