A
female
age
36-40,
*a petite belle
writes:Hello, Thank you so much for reading my email Ill try to be short. My ex and I dated for about 1.5 years, the last half year was mostly on/off and we were both immature and I myself made a lot of mistakes (as I am learning now).To make things short, he was my first IN EVERY aspect, so it was very painful for me to stay in a city where I had soooo many memories of him. Anyways, I moved to the opposite coast for an internship but in reality it was to try to forget him, that internship fell through and I moved to CHicago to keep on forgetting him. I wrote his mom a message telling her how much love I had for her son (February) and i told her that I was determined to forget him. Im almost possitive that about a month ago he sent me a message through her facebook taht said "you are really pretty, take care baby" (I blocked him from my facebook, I blocked his entire family because of that e-mail, in May of last year, I chaged my phone number so we wouldn't get on the on/off path). I felt enfuriated but to be honest taht message broke me because he didn't say anything! what was that supposed to mean?, take care???? of course....Anyways, this morning after li7 months, I looked him up on facebook and I saw his picture of him and his family and she has a picture of her and her dog... she posted a thumbs up on his cover page... but I can't stay away from asking if they are together.... it breaks my heart....I am in a new city and I will be flying back home in about 2 weeks and I ncan't decide if I want to see him (I miss him sooo much, I think about him every single day!!!), part of me wants to ask him "do you love her?, if you do, I will leave you alone forever, that's all I need to know" and part of me thinks it's best to let him go, the other part keeps telling me "you need to know a fact and stop going on/off about the issue"... the other part of me says it's like showing him your vulnerability and pump his ego to the sky... I have lost of a lot of weight and I thought my confidence was amazing until I saw this picture of her and her dog... she's stunning!!!! and she liked his facebook cover photo of him skiing (she is a skii instructor, I am assuming, she took him... I asked him a million times to go skiing wiht me but he never did/we never took it seriously)...I don't know what to do and I am stressing out about this and I am losing sleep over this.... HELP ME SOMONE... I thought I'd be over him by now... but it's.... i love him sooooo much... I can't stop thinking about him... I am starting to cry as we speak... I don't know what to do... do I contact him? do I belittle myself to the point of pumpin his ego and letting him I am still very much in love wiht him?, how can I put myself through looking at him in the eye and accepting the worst answer "yes, I love her" or do I just go home and celebrate my graduation like he's never existed? HELP ME PLEASE
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confidence, facebook, immature, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 These situations are tough, and most will insist that you don't contact him at all when you fly home. I'm in a similar situation, i'm trying to get over my ex of a bout 5 years. You guys dated for a year and a half and he was your first, this is gonna take alot more time for you too fully get over him. I'm only 2 months in, i'm expecting it to take a year minimum before i can fully move on!!
You did all the right things, keeping busy, not contacting him directly, blocking him and his family from facebook and changing your number, but you need to give yourself a break.
I miss my ex too, and i miss the friend that he pretty much dumped me for!! I keep telling myself that i hate them both, but i don't, i just miss having their company.
Try and spend as much time with friends as you can, go and meet new people if you have to. You have been strong so far in not contacting him, please keep this up you know you don't want to be hurt again.
As for this ski instructor girl, block her from facebook too, it won't do you any good dwelling on her.
You can always talk to me in a mailbox message if you want to vent some more. I've been here so many times before and know what you are going through
:)
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