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Can't get over the past

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 January 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2011)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm having a hard time forgetting and getting over the past when my boyfriend and I broke up for a year. We have been together for over 6 years now and this situation happened almost 3 years ago yet I keep thinking about it. My boyfriend and I have only been sexual with each other and when we broke up we still kept in touch and even had sex with each other often. He did not want a girlfriend or relationship and told me to get over him. I didn't want to but I made myself try so I started dating and met this one guy who I started to like. We kissed and did stuff over our clothes but nothing serious. I found out while I was dating my ex was also dating someone and saw her all the time. So I began thinking they did stuff because I only saw my guy a few times and I already did stuff that he Forsure did. He assured me nothing happened many times and he isn't that kind of guy to do stuff right away plus he didn't want a relationship or anything that would lead to one. But I still feel insecure about whether he's really telling me the truth. I believe him when he told me at first and he promises that he would tell me if anything happened because that's something he wouldn't lie to me about but I over analyzed things so much and convinced myself he did something so if he did tell me I would be prepared. Big mistake because I have spent almost 3 years thinking about it and I trust him because when he gets mad he says things and me bringing it up numerous times upsets him and he keeps telling me to be suspicious because he never did anything it's just that I over analyzed things and expected to hear he did something that I have doubts. I don't wanna feel this anymore because I do belive him and he's talked to me about his feelings and how he sees how I feel but that he didn't do anything no matter how suspicious some stories he told me were. What should I do to stop thinking about this situation so I can fully trust him without a doubt

View related questions: broke up, insecure, my ex

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A female reader, LittleMissy United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2011):

Hi, you need to let it go before it destroys your relationship. I think you can trust this guy as he's been honest with you that he saw somebody. It might hurt but you were broken up at the time. Focus on the present, he's back with you so obviously he loves you. You need to trust him before you lose him. You said you messed around with somebody also whilst you were broken up, seriously how would you feel if he kept throwing accusations in your face about that?

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