A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help!! I am 34 years old, black, professional, college educated woman, and I never had a boyfriend! I spent the last 5 years dealing with a man who took me out maybe 3 times, never calls me, barely texts me back, unless we were planning to meet at a hotel, it was just a messed up situation. We finally broke it off and now I am feeling so depressed because he was the closest thing I had to a relationship. I dont get asked out, I dont even get the looks or smile from a man. How do I recover from this and find the courage to believe that the man of my dreams is out there. I'm so tired of looking at everybody around me who has a relationship and I feel like I can't relate to anybody. People tell me to just wait, but I've been waiting for 34 years! what should I do??? Oh, I'm not knocking it, but I have no patience for online dating. Been there and done that many times and nothing came of it. Thanks for the advice
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Well first of the five years you spent dealing with that man was a big waste of time as its obvious he was not interested in you enough to make the effort therefore forget him and go for a new start in life make this the year that you find yourself a man, once you believe it then it can happen if you work hard at it.
Go out socialising talk to men your own age, take the courage and be confident hold your head up high talk to men and ask them about themselves, believe in yourself and dont start giving up because the moment you give up is the moment that nobody will even approach you. So get out there socialising and meeting new people. Pick up some hobbies that you would enjoy doing, its a great way of meeting people.
Believe in yourself and others will believe in you. Go out there and make it happen and remember once you do meet a guy take things really slow and dont suffocate him. Goodluck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): I think I would lose the fantasy that there is in fact a "man of your dreams" who will come out of nowhere and ask you out. Relationships tend to come be born in everyday situations; work places, the gym, friends of friends. You may already know your future partner.
-Try asking men out on a date. It does work.
-Don't settle for anyone. After a dry spell of about 6 years, I started seeing a man who acted the same way yours did. I put up with it because I wanted to believe so badly that we had a "real relationship." It took me a year to really acknowledge I didn't even like him. It sounds like you went through something very similar. Respect and listen to yourself.
-I would try a dating coach if you can find one where you live. They do exist. They will take you out on a "date" and give you honest advice.
Best of luck.
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