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female
,
anonymous
writes: to anyone who can advise me what to do. i have been in a relationship for 11 months with my boyfriend but can simply not get my ex of a few years out of my head. whenever i come home from uni he is the first person i think about and call. on several occasions when i have not been in a relationship we have ended up together, and even since my new relationship i still want to see him and speak to him. i know i am only confusing my feelings further my meeting up with him but can't help myself. in the past year my ex has admitted to making an effort to not see me to try and make other relationships work but also admits to thinking about me and still having strong feelings for me. i just don't know what to do because i feel that i'm in love with two people but just don't know who to choose or what to do. please advise me before i make a mistake.
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male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (14 December 2005):
 First let's just say it's hard getting over someone you really love that's the truth. However, you need to seriously look at your relationship with whom your with from their point of view, not yours. If I even thought you were seeing your X and we were together; I would have a cow. Technically that's cheating. Even if your not having sex with him, your heart belongs to him while your with him. That's not fair to the guy your with, nor yourself for that matter. Secondly, why is he your X and not current. Let's just say for the sake of discussion you two couldn't work it out. Ok then what makes you think that you can now. If you can, both of you; without holding it over each others heads; then great get it back together and go on with your lives; If not then get on with YOUR life and stop trying to live in a world that doesn't exist. In love with two people is not where I want to be ever. It's a mess inside my head anyway and it would just complicate that traffic jam. Honestly, I don't have trouble sleeping at night because my GF is my priority and I don't emotionally cheat on her because she is a human being. Do I think about my X's? sure once a week. Do I call them? HECK NO! what would it solve to speak to them. NOTHING!Besides if I was to talk or see them I might just want something from them that would hurt someone else. Better to just let them go and be true to yourself. If you cannot then I hope your honest with your new BF and at least let him decide to stay or go.
A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (14 December 2005):
 The best thing you can do is take time for yourself. Get everyone away, do some things on your own. The more time you have to think on your own, without anyone else there, the better off you will be, and more than likely closer to knowing what you actually want. Because you cant have both, you will have to choose. You must take this time for yourself, but if you dont choose soon enough, you will lose both of them.
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