A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my wife for 5 years and been great . A few months before the wedding my wife started smoking cannabis and it's now really effecting our marriage and relationships.. .What makes it worse is that I love her so much and I'm not emotionally strong enough. When we argue about it she turn it around to me not expecting it and she threats to leave and makes me feel so sad.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2017): wow. Read mine above a bit, posted same day. Like to know your thoughts...
Did she really only start right before or did she just keep it secret from you?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 November 2017):
 Why did she suddenly start smoking it a few months before the wedding was there any reason? If I am being honest I wouldn't have went through with the wedding if my husband started smoking weed a few months before hand I would have delayed it until we got to the bottom off it. There must be some reason she just suddenly started. That is where you both need to get to as a couple and see why she started and what the plan is moving forward. She is emotionally black mailing you by threatening to leave as she has no intentions and you are just miserable in this marriage with an addict so you both need to work hard or else accept its the end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2017): Does she have a medical condition that weed helps? If she does give her a pass because all those pills doctors perscribe can kill ya.I had a stroke from all those pills...headaches... swollen ankles and stomach.I much prefer natural medicine now with no side effects.I would say if this is the case educate yourself on the benefits.I know as a woman it helps cramps...hormonal problems etc.I know people who got off perscrtion meds like pain pills by using this and now their life is so much better because the side effects of pain pills are terrible and can kill you.weed never in two thousand years has killed anyone.Much safer than pills for pain... depression....and many other things...safer than booze which also kills.So maybe she has a reason...talk to her.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (1 November 2017):
 You're not happy with her smoking weed, she doesn't want to stop.
She threatens to walk out and you get upset, sounds like an endless cycle. If she's not going to quit you either put up with it or break up, what other options do you have?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2017): Hello there. Sorry to hear about what you are going through.Being in love with an addict is destructive for you. Your wife's primary relationship is with cannabis - this is where her loyalty right now is and she is not prepared to give it up because she is in the grip of an addiction. It could be alcohol, cocaine, food, gambling, sex, etc.Living with her will have a detrimental effect on you so you need to get some support (support groups, etc, so you can be seen and heard and supported and not suffer in silence). An addiction effects everyone around the addict - it isn't just about them.You cannot make an addict get help. They will either deny they have a problem or know they do have a problem but can't stop it. They have to know they need help to stop.So, please get some support for YOU. You are going to need it whatever way this goes - staying with her, leaving her. You matter too. You have a life too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2017): If she threatens to leave; I guess you will have to allow her to do so.
You have a problem with her smoking, she refuses to stop; and you're not emotionally strong enough to deal with it.
She's a grown-woman, and you can't tell her what to do.
If it affects you so badly; then you will have to do what is best for you. That may require you to leave her. She gives you no choice.
Take a stance, and man-up to the outcome.
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A
female
reader, Aleisha-Jay +, writes (31 October 2017):
 Cannabis can be very addictive. Almost all of my family members smoke it except me. My advice to you, is maybe be supportive of her. Is there any underlying issues as to why it started? Maybe compromise on it and discuss cutting down if it's something that isn't easy for her to suddenly stop. I'm a smoker myself and with all of my every day stress and worries, I smoke a cigarette and I have that time to think things through and to me that helps.
Maybe compromise on things, sit down and talk about it or maybe see if she needs help quitting. She seems very dependant on it?
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