A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:OK.. today I learned that the man I was dating in a LDR lied to me about who he was, where he was from, etc... he ended the relationship 2 months ago but he has been in contact with me over these two months because he said he really misses me and loves me. I fell in love with this man very soon after we met and he did as well. We have an incredible connection but now that I learned he lied can I ever trust him again?He hasn't asked me to take him back because he said he knows I would never take him back after I found out about the lies. He's in a relationship (not married) that he feels he has been unhappy with for years, has young child with this woman and has not left because of the child. He also said he has not been intimate in his relationship for 2+ years.This man said everything he has told me of how he feels has been nothing but the truth. He said he knows that he does not deserve me and it is is loss not that he will never have me and is sorry. A part of me wants to be with him still because I do love him and I alwasy felt his love for me... am I just crazy and should just run.. and run fast?
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female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 Yeah, unfortunately liars con men and charmers can really do a number on you. They are great with words and good at what they do. I'm glad you are getting away from him though, good job!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSometimes it's hard to see when love blinds you. I will walk away as I realize I don't know if anything he will tell me is the truth. I can't be with a man I cannot trust. Just not a healthy way to live. Thanks for poiniting out the obvious. Kind of ashamed to even tell me friends...that's itself says something.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (18 November 2012):
You are being played for a fool. He lied about who he was, where he was from, etc... So he's very clearly a liar. Yet you believe he has deep and real feelings for you? Why? Because it is what you want to believe and hear. He is a master charmer, liar and cheat. He knows everything a woman wants to hear and tells her. Do you know every one of those statements are so cliched of a cheating man? "My wife/girlfriend and I are no longer intimate" "I am only staying for my child", this gives him excuses to cheat while getting sympathy from you for his cheating. Why do women fall so easily for this? There are never good excuses to cheat, EVER. You can ALWAYS leave. Besides all of that he is a liar! Why all of the sudden believe he isn't having sex with his girlfriend? So he can lie about who he is and where he is (the biggest lies you could ever tell) but he won't lie about something with his relationship to make himself sound good? Please, wake up. All he has done is prove he is a liar and fed you a bunch of crap you want to hear. Yes, you do run from him. And guess what, even if you 'stay' you will never 'have' him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): "he ended the relationship 2 months ago but he has been in contact with me over these two months because he said he really misses me and loves me."
So he never ended the relationship, he just said he did and has spent the past two months telling you exactly what you want to hear, hoping that you'll conveniently overlook the inconvenient truth that everything he previously told you were lies.
"I fell in love with this man very soon after we met and he did as well. We have an incredible connection but now that I learned he lied can I ever trust him again?"
He's hoping that by telling you exactly what you want to hear that you'll conveniently overlook the inconvenient truth that everything he previously told you were lies.
"He hasn't asked me to take him back because he said he knows I would never take him back after I found out about the lies."
So instead he's trying to weasel his way back into your affections by telling you exactly what you want to hear, hoping that you'll conveniently overlook the inconvenient truth that everything he previously told you were lies, and since you're posting on Dear Cupid I'd say his strategy seems to be working just as he planned.
"He's in a relationship (not married) that he feels he has been unhappy with for years, has young child with this woman and has not left because of the child."
Don't believe what he SAYS, believe what he DOES (lie to you at every turn).
"He also said he has not been intimate in his relationship for 2+ years."
Don't believe what he SAYS, believe what he DOES (lie to you at every turn).
"This man said everything he has told me of how he feels has been nothing but the truth."
Don't believe what he SAYS, believe what he DOES (lie to you at every turn).
"He said he knows that he does not deserve me and it is is loss not that he will never have me and is sorry."
He's trying to weasel his way back into your affections by telling you exactly what you want to hear, hoping that you'll conveniently overlook the inconvenient truth that everything he previously told you were lies.
"A part of me wants to be with him still because I do love him and I alwasy felt his love for me..."
A part of you still wants to be with him because he tells you exactly what you want to hear.
"am I just crazy and should just run.. and run fast?"
Not crazy, just foolish because I suspect you are lonely and/or desperate, and therefore particularly vulnerable to a charming, manipulative con artist who probably makes a very comfortable living preying on victims such as you.
I'm sorry, but he has nothing to offer you but you have much he can take from you, that's why he's stringing you along with lies and false promises and insincere apologies. Please come to your senses and realize you're only going to be hurt in the end, so better to end it now and cut your losses so you can begin healing.
I suggest you seek counselling to help you through the grieving process as you indeed have suffered a significant loss, as significant as if the guy you thought he was really existed and suddenly disappeared without explanation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): Hmmmmm, this guy you like is not into you at all. He lives in wonderland of LIES. He will always be. How could you be with someone in one roof who used to be your lover without getting intimate with them?
Seriously? you don't even have to ask. if you want an honest opinion, this is my honest opinion he is just trying to get your sympathy and your affection again. he is lying when he said he knows he can never have you, because he knows he can have you again if he wants to and all he needs to do is just to make you believe in his lies again.
If a man does not want to be in a relationship, what they do is leave. So, since his still living in with the mother of his child it means their relationship is still on going.
'Coz if not believe me, he will leave.
He wants you back because the guy is a big time jerk and his idea of having fun is playing with you again. Mark my word, if you buy his lies it wont lasts. If you believe me, and avoid him, you save yourself from heartache and headache. You deserve better than him. Good luck..
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (18 November 2012):
 Run run as fast as you can in the opposite direction..
How can a man not tell you,rather hide such an important aspect of his life..
If he really liked you he could have told you the truth and let you decide what you wanted to do after but what he did was become this perfect gentlemen tell you all the things you want to hear edit the part of him having a child,and voila your in lovee!!
Now he very well knows ur in love with him as well and a little persuasion could work,I think he has a lot to figure first,about the woman in his life,about the child,your just going to add to it and get into a whole new drama which I'm sure you don't want..why not find a single man instead without all the baggage!
Good luck x
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