A
female
age
41-50,
*haritri
writes:Are Turkish men trustworthy?I am an indian girl sharing a relationship with a 34 year old turkish man who came to india on official purpose (for a period of one year). We met and he expressed his love for me. We have been seeing each other for almost 9 months and he has already proposed marriage and a life together in turkey. Even I would love to share my life with him. And so somehow he has persuaded me to marry him. He has gone back to turkey now n is coming back after a month (he has specially extended his visit to India for another year so that i can finish my thesis before i go with him). Two days back he called me to inform that he has bought a flat for us. He has told his parents and friends about me and they dont seem to have any problem. But my problems are1. I am quite perplexed about his genuineness(since I dont know anyone from his family or friends), although otherwise i find him to be very honest and responsible. 2.I am also quite at a loss thinking about the entire culture difference that i will have to face once i go to turkey. 3.Another thing which bothers me is, it seems i have to accept islam before marriage.(although i dont have much problem in converting as i love him very much and i have already understood the main tenets of Islam)4. Can someone from Turkey tell me about your idea/attitude towards Indian women?So can u suggest if it is fine if i trust him and go ahead and marry him?
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female
reader, dharitri +, writes (12 June 2009):
dharitri is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmany thanks to all who have replied to my queries...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): I am not from Turkey but I would say that in any country, different people think different things, you can't generalise. Could you get some support from your family? Could they go over with you and meet his family with you and give their opinion?
It is good that you are being realistic about the cultural differences and thinking about such things.
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (12 June 2009):
 If you look at your message carefully you will notice that you mentioned more negatives then positives, a lot more. A person in love and certain of someone else's love would not have so many unanswered questions, far to many to gamble your life/future on. If you are not sure if he is genuine then that comment alone should give you the answer. I have been to Turkey, a lovely place but not for someone new to the culture who comes from another country with a language you don't speak, a religion you don't really understand and without family or friends for support if things go wrong. Tell me what happens if he hasn't really bought the flat and his parents aren't really that happy to have you in their family. Can he really buy a flat 2 days after arriving in Turkey? Do you really think his family are excited about accepting someone they hadn't met, who isn't muslim and doesn't speak turkish...its not likely and.. If you need to ask me, someone you don't know if you should trust him then its time to move on.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (12 June 2009):
 go to turkey but dont marry him just yet, see how he treats you within his own culture and within his family. if he loves you he will have patience.
uprooting yourself and removing yourself from everything you know (all your social/physical coping mechanisms) will plaice extra strain on things.
nine months seems a long time but in the big scale of things it isn't, but moving away from everyone you know is big in the scale of things.
match your scales or the balance wont work
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