A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am in a middle of a triangle love which is a deep one. I can't decide what should I do now. I love a girl, who is of my age. Some unfortunate things happened with her 5 years ago. When she was 15, she was committed to a relationship with one of her classmates, and then when her parents found out about their relationship.Her step mother got her to marry him forcibly. The marriage was done traditionally in our Indian culture, but legally there is no registry or any legal proof that they are married. Since then that girl is living with her in laws house, and the guy is living outside for his education. Now my problem is, I have fallen for her and I think she has fallen for me too. But the guy who is apparently her husband (although I don't want to call him like this but..) loves him too and she can't hurt him either. Now at this situation I am really scared of mine and our future. I can't decide what should I do. The situation is getting complicated day by day. As there is no legal proof of their marriage I told her to come to me, leave that house and leave him then come to me, I am ready to accept her, but she can't leave him because of me although she wants me more than him. She is quite obsessed about what other people will think about her character after she does this and come to me.All these things are getting complicated day by day , I am also tensed about our future, I can't leave her. I need her badly, for that I can go to any extent, but in the other hand I think about her as well. If she doesn't want me in her life , I can go far away from here. Too far away to reach me. :'(So I needed a friend who can suggest me logically and responsibly and I ended up writing this with you people.Please suggest me a good way so that This situation here gets little easier. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2015): Hi!I don't think that she loves you (I am sorry). It's just a phase that she's going through with her partner living abroad. You're just filling up the void that her partner had been doing for so long.You say that she's married at such a young age! But here in India, 18 is the legal age for a girl to get married. And besides, how can you be so sure that they didn't register their marriage later on?And moreover, you've offered her to accept her if she comes out of the marriage. But she clearly made her choice (chose her husband over you). This woman wouldn't leave her husband or you either and continue to have the best of both worlds unless you decide on another course. Are you happy being treated like an option? Are you happy with this emotional turmoil? If the answer is no, then seek a girl who's unmarried and comes with lesser baggage. My suggestion is to end this fling here and move on with life. If I quote you, "I need her badly" and also you want the "situation to get easier", the only way to make the situation easy is to stop obsessing about the woman and value your self-worth. She already have given multiple thoughts about her projected image in the society if she flees with you and you're concerned about her reputation too, but have you ever considered how will YOU be looked upon in the society? How would your family react about this entire mess? No, right! Think now!Hope it helps!
A
female
reader, haveiafuture  +, writes (3 November 2015):
I don't understand. What you legally there is no registry or any legal proof that they are married? Also was she pregnant when she got married? Then she would have children. That would be complicated.
Sorry I am not too familiar with Indian culture. You might have to explain more :-)
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