A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have known this guy for over 11 years and he used to have a crush on me for a very long time, but I never felt the same although we became best friends! But we haven't spoken for 3 years because I went to Uni and we drifted apart. Up until recently.But the problem is this. He says he wants for things to be normal again although he has a girlfriend, one little boy and another child on the way. I am in a long term relationship and I find it awkward talking to him on FB because I never know what to say because I don't want to be the 3rd person in any relationship! I've kept my distance but he is always initiating conversations and seeing how I am, how he has fond memories of us..and that his girlfriend is fine with him talking to me which I don't quite believe. So what do I do??? He thinks that I'm being rude by not talking to him all the time etc but seriously, I don't want to cause any trouble on either side! Help!
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male
reader, sam carter +, writes (31 March 2011):
A guy never forgets his first crush and although you say you dont want to be the third person it seems as though thats exactly what you want. You say your in a long term releationship, how does your boyfriend feel about this. I think youre in danger of ruining 2 relationships yours and his.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): What you need to ask is who is this all affeacting is it just you being the 3rd person in the relationship. What about your boyfriend have you stopped to think how he might feel about it all?
For a guy its harder to forget a crush and by keeping in contact your not really drawing boundaries. If you are in a long term relationship you really need to think abuout what youre doing before you end up ruin this guys and your own.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): I'm a 26 years old male.
I got to tell you something.
Guys hardly forget their first crush.
I'm currently having a girlfriend. I had a crush/platonic love with a girl since 7th grade. Although I was her friend for a couple of years, we no longer are in contact, and she doesn't talk to me. I still have some feelings for her, although they are of friendship. I don't make contact with her or anything, because my girlfriend gets very jealous. She seems to be obsessed with my first crush, because she feels she is not pretty enough [she has self-esteem issues], and that I'm going to dump her just to get with her if I get an opportunity (which I'll never, ever do).
If you want to get rid of that guy, do what this girl did to me. Just stop talking to him. That is the easiest way to get rid of a guy. No matter how hard he try, just don't answer him. [I must advice you that this will be very, very painful for him, so don't expect him to be very happy.]
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