A
male
age
41-50,
*trainer1
writes:I have been in a long term relationship with my girlfriend (lets call her E) now for 7 years and things have been very good, I recenetly met a girl (called K) and one thing led to another and we started a relationship and have been together for over 6 months.the problem i have is that i love both women, for different reasons they make me feel so good, E is beautiful and wonderful and fun loving but she is not seroious in life as she doesnt want to settle down anytime soon or have kids. K is a family girl and is ready to start a family tommorow.both girls are very loving and I am torn apart between both of them, I currently live with E so that would be the easy option but my family all love K and she gets on with them all whereas E doesnt get on at all with my family.I have thought about staying with both of them but I know that wouldnt be fair to either one of them, I hate myself for the position i have put myself in and was wondering whether to finish with both of them?? but i love them so much and my heart aches every time i think about leaving either of them.there are no children involved so that is the only good thing, how should i choose who to be with as I love both women equally and I cant bear to be away from either of them...please help....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): First of all, why did you even start cheating on E in the first place? Was it because you were unhappy? Or was it just because you wanted to have your cake and eat it too? Either way, cheating on someone that you love is a very low down and selfish thing to do. I can tell you right now, if either of these women knew what was going on, they would probably both choose to leave you. So are either of the relationships even honest if they would not want you if they knew your true colors? Dishonest relationships never work out. I think that if you truly love these women you will tell them the truth and then let them decide. They deserve the truth and believe me, it's 10X worse if they find out on their own and not from you.
Also, considering dumping a woman you have been with tried an true for 7 years for a woman who you basically just met and are just getting to know is ridiculous. There is no such thing as love at first sight. The "infatuation" stage of the relationship can last up to a year and after that the whole feel of the relationship changes. There is less excitement and no more butterflies, etc. Infatuation can really disguise itself as love in many cases. So you really need to ask yourself if you are truly in love with K or if you are just infatuated with her. If you leave E for K and then the infatuation phase ends and you realize you aren't really in love, then what?
In any case I don't even think that matters because frankly I don't think you deserve either of these women after you have shown how capable you are of stabbing both of them in the back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Why did you even start a relationship with K if E was so perfect? Put yourself in the situation and think! Would you like to be an option in someone's life? Do these girls really deserve being cheated on? I think you're just being very greedy and wanting the best of both worlds..be careful and pick one of them or you'll end up losing both..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): i agree, both women will be better off without you. Women in general need a man and they need this man to act like a man and not a user, an abuser and certainly not a cheater.
just my thoughts. E has lost 7 years of her precious life already.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Break it off with both of them. If you can't respect a serious long-term relationship, you shouldn't be in one at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Put both women in the same room and let them tell you what they think!! Seriously you are kidding yourself to think you love either of them if you're cheating on both of them. Your age heres shows early thirties and you're acting like a hormone fuelled teenager. Grow up, finish with one or better, both of them and get over yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): I meant long term not long distance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Wait a second your family know you're dating two women and don't have a problem with it? Do they know about each other? I think you have been very selfish cheating on your long distance girlfriend, because that's what it is. You can't have both and if you can't choose one then you should stay single because somebody's going to get hurt. You know these women, us readers don't so we can't tell you who to choose that's up to you. It also sounds like having both girls on the go is feeding your ego.
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