A
female
 ,
*nookerfan
writes:Hi everyone! I need some advice about sexual stuff! Basically im 18 and i lost my virginity to my boyfriend in april this year. He was alot more experienced than me. It really really really hurt the night i lost it! He couldnt get it in properly for quite a while (and he's not massive - just an average 6ish inches) cos i was so tight! And he didnt finish off and cum that first time cos he was scared of hurting me so didnt carry on as long as he could have! I bled alot - i woke up in the middle of the night to find blood on the sheet and thought my period had started cos there was a big stain of it! But it hadnt started - i just bled alot and throughout the night as well! We are in a long distance relationship so only see each other once a month or so, usually just for a long weekend. We have sex pretty much every day that were together, yet it still hurts! Not as much as it did at first, but its still quite painful at times! We went on a three week holiday to france in july and after a bit of time, it stopped hurting pretty much altogether but then the next time we saw each other after the holiday, it hurt again and it has ever since! Its upsetting my boyfriend that i dont enjoy sex in the physical sense, as the pain is stopping most of the good feelings! I still love having sex with him, cos were in love and its a great experience, but i havent got anywhere near cumming! last weekend when we had sex, it still hurt a bit but at the same time it did feel quite good for the first time. Not enough to make me cum, but i suppose its a start! anyway, i suppose what im really asking is - will it stop hurting? has anyone ever been in this situation before? I went to the docs cos my boyfriend was worried something was wrong down there cos im so tight, but all the nurse said after she examined was that i was very tight and she gave me some KY! and told me to get my boyfriend to pay lots of attention to me and get me wet! Which he does - he's very attentive in bed and always gives me finger before hand and cuddles and kisses me everywhere before, during, and after! and he will very often give me oral before hand too. So i dont really know what we could do differently!Also, another small question! when he gives me oral and i start to cum, it ends very soon! as soon as i start to cum its over! it just seems like as soon as i start to cum i suddenly get very sensitive and it just stops! or the feeling gets too intense and just stops! i dunno! but this doesnt happen when im doing it myself - my orgasms last the full duration then. my boyfriend recently asked do i cum as well when he gives me oral as i do when im doing it myself, and we agree to never lie to each other, so i had to admit to him that no i dont, and that upset him too:( although he said he was glad i was honest with him. he says that he's always been able to make women cum during penatrative sex, yet with the one woman he actually wants to make cum, he cant!:( ive reassured him that sex is still really good for me and i love it, cos i do! but he still feels bad, and i dont know what to do:(any help or advice would be great!thanks!
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long distance, lost my virginity, orgasm, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 There could be many reasons for the difficulty. It does sound like a problem with dryness and the KY should help with that. Just so you know, KY puts out some pretty nifty products like personal lubricant that warms to the touch and different scents etc.
I could also go into the G-Spot and different techniques etc. but instead I will provide a couple of websites for you to check out that should give you more than enough information to make things easier for you. I hope they help. Doc.
http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/firsttime.html
http://mama.indstate.edu/users/nizrael/grafenberg.html
http://www.jackinworld.com/forher/jfh.html
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