A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm in my forties , healthy guy, and I live in a good relationship with my wife. So one day suddenly, after years without any problem, I just lost my erection, in the middle of sex. We didn't think too much about it, but when I tried it again, it didnt work at all. So , we started to worry, and went to the have checkup. The doctor said there is nothing wrong, all my tests were ok. He says, it just happens, you don't need a medical reason, to have it. He said you can go to see a shrink. So I did, and he said, he has no idea, what is causing this. Now, I have also no desire for any sex, ever. But I really dont get it. Can you have ED without a cause? I have this problem now , more than a year ago. Please tell me , if you heard about ED without a cause. Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): Hey , it's OP,
Thanks so much for your honest answer, I really appreciate it.
As I'm really in the dark, and my marriage is braking down, by the day. Its really what is the most frustrating , not to know the cause. And many people can't understand this, as they have a medical , or a solid psychological component. Its like a mystery. I will give a thought, to this ideas. So what you are saying , it is some sort of a sexual fantasy block, what needs to be looked at. If you have any more ideas, Im very interested.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): Hello again, anonymous here. Yes, I think 'roxanneian' and myself are on the same wavelength with our advice, such as it is.
There is no real absolute answer that I can see other than extra-stimulation from some form or another. Sounds like you have an understanding wife so that can only be to the good. I'm personally not a one for roleplay but if you both are, and it gets you off, then hey! To be perfectly honest - which I can be as I'm anonymous - I get off thinking my woman is a 12 year old pubescent schoolgirl who I'm molesting and seducing, while making love!
As for feeling sexual, try watching online porn, never fails to give me an erection, resulting in a very powerful orgasm.
Suggest to your wife that you watch it together?
Good luck to you both.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): Hi, , roxanneian! I m the OPThanks for your interesting answer, but can you tell more about what do you mean about new ''approach to this problem is all you need as a change of thought in sex will help if you both try.''Also I wanted to ask, do have problem getting an erection when masturbating? Also, do you actually think about sex, it is just that you have performance anxiety? Because my problem is, that, I never even think of sex, or enjoy it, even if I'm trying to masturbate. So what Im saying, sex is totally cut out from my mind. And it is the real weird issue, as I used to be a pretty horny guy. Thanks for your answers.Dear anonymous! '' and the only solution is to change girlfriends once a week or use''that would be very challenging, but what you mean is you think , I dont get enough sexual stimulation, and that is what I'm missing?
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A
male
reader, roxanneian  +, writes (22 May 2012):
to be honest this is normal.it is understanding.for me to answer your question. the more you try to regain your erection the harder it denies you.then you get the anxiety setting in and the concious voices niggling you too.its the age that this type of problem usually occurs in men.i had this since being about 29yrs due to mental health medicine.most of it is ed based.the easiest answer to deal with it is to think of other sexual thoughts that are new to you as the old thoughts and fantasies become less affective.dont be alarmed in what you think of if it does the trick.be honest with yourself and your partner as it is them that become affected too.you may both need to try sex from different points of view and lose the taboo and embarasment thoughts.a new approach to this problem is all you need as a change of thought in sex will help if you both try.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (22 May 2012):
 I would get another opinion and preferrably from a doctor who specialises in ED and sexual issues. Don't give up until you have an answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2012): Same thing happened to me in my late 40s. My woman at the time was bloody sexy and gorgeous and not sexually demanding, I had no stress-related probs, took no medication which might have affected me - mystery. My doc simply said "It happens."Took Viagra a few times and the old me was back. Did without Viagra after a while, just the knowledge that it was there was sufficient so, it's all in the mind. That was 10 years ago.These days, a few girlfriends later, the same problem can occur with a partner I'm used to being with but if it's a new partner, the excitement level is sufficient to keep me going unaided by any drug.So, no real solution other than it happens with no apparent cause and the only solution is to change girlfriends once a week or use Viagra!So sorry I can't be more helpful except to say, you're not alone.
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