A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can You Fall In Love With Someone That You Have Never Met???I have been chatting to a man for the past 9 months on the internet. We met on a roleplaying game and have talked every day since (give or take about 5 days in the beginning). Ever since, we've been inseparable (via the internet/telephone). We've exchanged pics, telephone numbers, addresses, etc. but we've never met in person. We know an enormous amount of information about one another, but still aren't comfortable in meeting just yet. He lives about 12 hours away from me, but our schedules just aren't compatible for a "meeting" at the moment.Because we've bonded for so long, is it safe to say that I've fallen in love with him? Not a minute goes by that I don't think about him. This feels so different than any prior/rl relationships that i've had in the past. I'm notorious for having relationships that last a while, so I know when its real or not. But with him, I trust him completely and have no second thoughts at all.Granted many people would say "you haven't met him, so you don't really know him or what he does." That is a valid point. But we check in with one another, so I know that he's not dating anyone on the side.But my question is, am I truly in love with him and vice versa? Or is it just infatuation? Do you have to meet someone face to face for it to be a valid thing called "love". Or is it a gut wrenching feeling that you have and you know with all of your heart? I'm completely attached to him... but is it "him" or just an image that I have of him?Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): I have personal experience with this, PLUS I know at least 5 others who do also and YES it is possible. That's how I met my husband. Met him on a dating site 5+ years ago..we talked back and forth on im/webcam then phone and it was daily, numerous times a day/night, I already felt as though I fell in love with him before we met in person but couldn't believe it was possible since I never met him in person and every where I read online claimed it wasn't possible..They were so wrong. It is entirely possible to fall in love with someone you never met in person. I'm living proof. Can't stop thinking about him/her, always admire pics of them, dream about them sometimes, talk on im all the time, feel butterflies when you see them sign on or their number on your caller ID.. all signs that your either in love or falling. Nothing is impossible. Know that. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): I think if you accept that our exterior image is based on who we are on the inside, and that you fall inlove with someone because you realise at a deep level that that person is right for you the only difference between falling inlove in person and falling inlove talking on the internet should be the time needed. If meeting in person you transmit tons of information by how you look, how you move, maybe some extra-sensorial perception, how you talk, how you behave, etc, etc and this can lead even to love at first site, in chat its all about what you say, how onest and how complete so if both parties describe themselves as good as they can, in time the result should be the same .... of course the amount of time untill it could happen will differ but the level of knowledge about the other person will compensate .....
ahhh....life is such a beautiful thing...good luck with the actual meeting
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (6 November 2008):
 You are not in love with him. You are in love with the potential for love and with the image you have of him. You need to spend time, lots and lots of time with someone to really know them and love them. Talking about things that you have done on your own, talking about feelings, what you would do, etc, are just no substitute for actually being in each others presence doing things together. A persons character is defined by what that person DOES, not by what they think or believe. Right now all you have is the latter. You have no idea of the former. You dont truly know what this person will DO in any given situation, only what they say they will do or think they will do. That is not to say that this young man is lying. But we dont often know how we will be until we actually have to deal with a situation. You need to deal with real things together, going to movies, walks in the park, attending or better yet, hosting a party together. YOu need to deal with the bad and the good together, a bad day at work, the nasty neighbor, the great job promotion. Just talking about stuff cannot substitute for doing stuff. Also, your statement that because you check in with each other means that you know he is not dating anyone else is just plain self delusional. We aunts on here can testify to the number of 'confessions' we have seen just on this site of people who claim to be engaged to a long distance love, but are cheating on them or even living with someone else. The long distance person has no idea. My own boyfriend dated a girl in another country for 1 1/2 years and found out after they broke up that she was likely cheating on him almost the whole time! With various men! Including the one she broke up with him for.
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