A
female
age
41-50,
*yespy17
writes:I think I already know the answer to this one, but I'll ask anyway.I've been dating/sleeping with this guy for 2 months now. He is fun, not jealous type, and we have a great time together. He tells me he really likes me and I really like him. We haven't had "the talk" yet, but he calls me every day and it feels like we are moving into that boyfriend/girlfriend category. Mutual friends say he is not dating anyone else that they know of.I was away this weekend and mutual friends told me he broke out cocaine and started doing it at a party until 11am in NYC. Not that unusual, but a little concerning. I do NOT do drugs, have never even tried them. I'm 33. How can I judge how serious the drug use is? I'd like to keep seeing the guy and having fun, but I don't want to get all wrapped up in someone who is a serious user, or worse, a seller.Are there signs of serious drug use? Does cocaine use make you more horny? What can happen if I'm with him and he gets busted?I know, I know, you're going to tell me to drop this guy and run the other way ...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Hiya miss!
I will flat out tell you from experience to cut ties, all of them, even mutual friends with this man. TRUE STORY: please read!! I once mixed up with some ppl from work, and a woman who I was interested in, and went to a house where I found out they had coke and they were the last ppl in the world id guess to do it!! Given they were my friends I didnt care even the woman who I was interested in, I had to protect my personal well being. I made up an excuse to leave the house, called the police, gave a tip, they raided and arrested within two weeks. I testified at the hearing months later, and bam theyre in jail. The girl who lived with him who didnt do drugs but knew he was buying and doing them, got 10 years!!! 10 years in a state prison!!! She didnt even know the guy for a long time either. Get this: Had I witnessed her doing coke, she could have gotten 15 years!! Makes me think I shoulda stuck around thier house a bit more that day so I could have witnessed her but God knows what else could have happened. She had no priors either, just a few traffic tickets and he didnt even have that much in the house but yet they nailed him with intent to distribute!!! The guy, her BF, got 20 and that was a reduced sentence since he gave up the name of his dealer! He couldve faced 30 if he didnt talk as its obstruction of justice and in a felony case it wouldve had a higher sentence! Skilling from enron got 24 years for 19 counts (none of which were drug related but still)! This guy was charged with intent to distribute and possession ONLY! They dropped the obstruction of justice charge! The dealer was a separate case and I have no idea how it turned out.
Bottom line is this: He does cocaine, thats his business, but it doesnt fit with who you are or what you want so why force being with someone when in fact by forcing it could potentially be harmful to your health and to your mind and place you in prison!!!! Cocaine is a very serious drug. Minnesota doesnt take it lightly at all! It doesnt matter how much you use or who you use it with, its still detrimental to life as a whole and can affect society. A drug is a drug and someone didnt pay attention in DARE class. If youre with him i e know his whereabouts, hang with him, etc and he gets busted, you get charged with aiding and abetting a felon. Tho I dont know NY law so that can be different. The girl got charged with this cause she was living with the guy and also hung around him, went to stupid parties. I testified that she knew what he was doing but "didnt care as she didnt think what he was doing was a big deal as he wasnt distributing". Afterward, the girl was in tears and regretted staying with the man. I didnt care. The woman I was interested in, was speechless. I think she was shocked how quickly I went from being interested and her friend to a man who cares about himself and who he associates himself with.
Depending on what state you live in, I see NY, it could be damn more serious. Thats the biggest city ever lol...there's plenty of guys in that city who dont do drugs and who could possibly offer you even more than whatever this man has, which I see isnt a whole lot. To this day, I have no remorse for that situation as it was logically the right thing to do. These people were breaking a law, I was adverse to their wrongdoing as it was against the law and against my personal well being in physical health and mind, so it was necessary for me to take action and protect myself. In return, perhaps I also protected society which does make me feel good. Stay away from parties, this man's friends, and more importantly, stay away from him! Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): When you get involved with this type of guy you are dating the coke, not the person.
You really don't know who this guy is.
You yourself can't begin to compare to coke either.
So, keep this in mind. Good and new relationships make you feel better, Coke makes you feel even better. At some point you will find that you don't make this guy feel so good, and he will find this as well, and you will think it is you, he will think it is you, and it will be coke talking and you won't be able to compete with it.
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