A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do I get over someone? My ex broke up with my over 3 months ago now and it gets easier sometimes but then at others it feels again as bad as when it happened. I have wrote on here before about this situation but this time I just want to get over him, which I understand is easier to say than do. Since splitting up we have met up numerous times (only contacts me when drunk) and I have ran back every time. I know I need to stop this and now it's want I want to do for myself. His reason for breaking up was just because he didn't want to be in a relationship, not me as a person. I totally understood that and he then once told me he didn't love me any more and he wish he did but he didn't.. again these are his feelings that I can't control I know. I don't understand why he keeps coming back to me (even though whilst drunk) to tell me how much he misses me and all this but I think maybe he's confused and doesn't know what he wants - but that's his own problem to deal with and not mine.We were each other's first real loves and it's proving a lot more difficult for me than him. I feel I have been treated like an option (which is also my own fault for letting it happen) or something he is confused about but again he has to figure that out himself. I just want to get over him. He is happily talking to other girls and I have done the same - however I have just wanted him.I can't carry on putting myself in these stupid situations and letting them happen again and again just to upset myself.. I am literally putting myself in this circle I guess.I think I get so upset about these types of situations as I am not one to give myself to someone fully as I get worried if I do that, it will end badly. I have never given myself fully to someone until I believe it is right and I can fully trust them - and I feel I am so upset because I did this with him and now it has ended like this.How do I get over him?
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female
reader, k.b.williams +, writes (15 July 2016):
I'm currently in a similar situation. I split with the guy i thought i was going to marry going back quite a few months ago and he won't let me go. I know he doesn't want a relationship with me as things in our lives are complicated due to our age gap. I've said to him that I can no longer be in contact with him as it's not fair on me (i'm now with somebody else) He still won't let it go or let me heal. So i tend to no longer respond as it's too much pain. I'm not fully over it, but the time passing helps. Please walk away and learn to live without him before it mentally and emotionally destroys you, you aren't giving yourself a chance to find someone who truly wants to be with you and only you (something i have found but because of this guy previous, thought i never would)
A
female
reader, lilmizzbaybehh +, writes (15 July 2016):
i can really relate to this, i was with a girl for about 4 years and the relationship ended pretty badly, it was on and off.i wanted nothing more than to be over her and be able to move on with somebody new, but it seems i cant let go of her 6 years on, i definately think about her every waking day, and honestly feel i still love her....hence the reason i cant get romantically involed with someone else, i do think this relates to my other issues too though, but the thing im trying to get you to understand is, no matter how much you may be hurting, you need to let time take its toll....time is the greatest healer of all, as i am learning after all this time. keeping your mind occupied is a really good way to distract yourself....go out and enjoy yourself the best you can, things will work themselves out :D
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2016): He's your habit and addiction. Yes, sweetie! We get addicted to people. You also get addicted to drama, and the constant back-and-forth turns into obsession.
All the previous advice is exactly what you do. You block contact, delete his number, and put a tight rubber band around your wrist to snap yourself every-time you are tempted to contact him. Call a friend, go for a bike ride, dye your hair, or get an exercise video and workout when you feel the impulse to go on social media to stalk him.
You'll start seeing your body sculpt and tone-up; because you'll be running back to that video every five minutes!
You have to teach yourself some self-control; and discipline yourself not to give-in to weaknesses. You make too many excuses not to tap into your girl-power and inner-strength to make the effort to stop. That's because you really don't want to. You can do whatever you want, once you makeup your mind to do it.
In all honesty, nothing beats time. He'll wear-off.
You go cold-turkey. That's how you kick the habit.
Every-time you go running back, you restart the cycle. Being stuck on that cycle keeps you feeling like sh*t. You feel worse and worse, because you're picking at a sore. It won't heal if you keep doing that. He calls you when he's drunk? Come on! He calls you when he's horny!
Woman-up, girlfriend! Stop making excuses. If you keep giving in, what's the point of asking for advice you'll never use?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 July 2016):
 Block all contact, you will never get over him if he keeps drunk dialing you. I know you hope he still has feelings and that is why he contacts you, but my guess is that he wants easy company someone who will be intimate with him and he gets what he wants, words are cheap, actions speak louder. Change your number, block all avenues off him being able to contact you and then give yourself time. Hang out with friends, go shopping ect.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 July 2016):
 Buy yourself a new pair of boots. That's what I normally do, or a fancy dress, or a travel to somewhere new and exciting. Always works for me. Also, finding some hot, new guy to fantasize about helps a lot, even if you wont act on it/date anyone. Just having someone else to day dream about works to replace the memories of the ex and all the longing for the past. Make it someone incredibly hot.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 July 2016):
 BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK
IF he can still contact you, he can still "mess" with your healing process and he isn't calling you because he wants you back, he just wants to USE you knowing that you are more likely willing to see him again in hopes that he has changed his mind.
The truth is... he got INTO a relationship KNOWING he didn't want one, but he KNEW that telling you that right out of the gate you wouldn't have fallen for him, you wouldn't have opened up to him, you wouldn't have BEEN with him.
So look at the facts. He doesn't WANT to date you (or as he puts it "anyone" but we aren't talking about anyone else but you... ) He still booty calls you when drunk and you still respond knowing... that he DOESN'T care enough for you to want to BE with you.
Therefore.... if you WANT to move on you NEED to block him, delete him, cut off HIS access to you, since you don't seem to have enough self control to NOT go see him when he calls you.
You know what you have to do, why aren't you doing it yet? Maybe that is a bigger question for you to answer than how to I move on?
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