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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and a guy friend were talking online and the conversation some how turned to our past. (We used to be sort of friends with benefits) he's with another girl now so we agreed to stay friends even though i found it very hard.The FWB thing ended over a year ago.The convo went:I told him that us being friends was too hard that's how the convo started.Him: But I want us to be friends, because thats importantMe: why is it important though? it shouldn't be this hardHim: We clearly like each other but that shouldn't happen. So we should be friends.Seems simple to me.Me: maybe friends is just too hard for me, i don't knowHim: i'm sorry...Then he went offline. What do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): It's optional to be friends with him still. You dont have to, but you can if you want to, which in this case, I don't think you do.
A
female
reader, BriBri  +, writes (30 January 2011):
Yes,I have been through the same thing that you have but mine included 5 of my bffs dating him, so I'm going to tell you... after him dating me off and on again, we are now friends, been friends since 5th grade. So you if you try your hardest and believe you can, than it will all work out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): I having the rough time like you did. The ironic thing was he is dating with one of my best friend (but she is kind of faking as well and start flirting him when behind me, especially she know I like him and he confess to her).But now I already didn't seeing her as my friend anymore. i already see the true color of her. I would only said this guy actually is only think about himself. When he is boring, he start missing you. When he got someone loving him back, he don't give a shit about ur emotions. My case was, he is totally cut me off from facebook, no replied my text, call and message. Only sending me a message said in order to make me feel better, he want me to stay away from him. I was asking him, why he is pushing me anyway? he still denying said he is pushing me away. or told me I was great friends (hello, great friends? that's is not a best way to pushing me away? did he ever respect me as a friend?!) Bullshit. He not only just think about himself, his happiness, he want to act he is loyal to his gf.This kind of guy, only caring about who want him, they only paying attention to making people fall in love on them, they doesn't bother who love him. If he did, he already dating you.If a guy really need love, they will accept what they have right in front of them. If he only caring who want him, that's mean he is scare of lonely and using people to reduce his loneliness. he said he like you, he just want to make you not angry at him, at the same time, making him look alike not a selfish person. He said he want you be friends with him, he also actually want to show his gf he is loyal to her as a boyfriend and loyal to you as a friend.
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A
male
reader, dragon defence  +, writes (30 January 2011):
if its to hard for you best left alone. the feelings wont go away and wiil hinder your abilty to start new relationships . if hes dating his life has moved on . yours is on hold till you let go. be polite but mark it as done!
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (30 January 2011):
 I think that you still having interactions with him is causing you unessessary heartache, probably heartache that you could do without. He has moved on and is in a relationship with someone else, and i feel that you should do the same. I know its hard, but over time the emotions that you are feeling will lessen. Get out there, meet up with friends, do some stuff, go to the gym, whatever, just take your mind away from this guy. In time you will meet a guy who sweeps you off your feet and make you truly happy, and when this happens this guy will be a distant memory.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, lil212 +, writes (30 January 2011):
Hello
I don't think you should do anything. You've told him being friends is too hard but he seems fine with it. And to you friends will be too hard as If you like him you will analyse everything he says/does. To have no contact would be best and to move on as I'm sure one day If you are friends It may happen again and only lead to heart ache.
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A
male
reader, Saaaa +, writes (30 January 2011):
I think you too were meant to be together, if i was you just wait for a month or two then see whats going to happen, you never know he might come after you
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A
male
reader, Liebes Kummer +, writes (30 January 2011):
Staying friends with him is cool but it is optional. If for any reason you feel you are getting the short end of the stick, then by all means tell him so and put an end to the 'friendship.'
Staying 'friends' after a relationship or in your case, FWB is a matured way of doing things but, it does not have to be.
If you are unhappy with the arrangement, put a stop to it.
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